The "A" Team

Beginning of the week randoms

2012-02-19T23:27:00.001-06:00

I am just so tired. I have no energy. I'm huge and it's uncomfortable. I feel like I'm 40 weeks.

My belly doesn't look as big as it is, because I was wearing maternity spanx. Anyhow, S is still transverse bc she has no room because of the placenta. I hear this is common with previa. It's so uncomfortable. Literally she is under my boobs. Lying sideways.

I wanted to send a shout out to my friend Melody (the Estes family) her blog is in my sidebar. I wish I could link with my phone. Anyhow, Thursday she had her sweet baby girl Adilyn Cate and she's precious. I loved being pregnant with her. We have texted about every possible pregnant girl problem known to man over the last 9 months. :-) Congrats friend!!

I have been thinking alot about some of the people I've been connected with, IRL and the Internet lately who have suffered the loss of a child. Im praying very hard for these moms--I haven't forgotten. I have kind of kept my feelings private lately. This has not been an easy journey and I'm praying alot for other moms--I have just had a hard time with expressing how I feel lately.

My sweet oldest daughter will turn 9 on Saturday!! And Sawyer will be here two weeks after that. It's unbelievable. I was just at the hospital holding the most beautiful black headed baby I've ever seen..I can't believe 9 years later, she will get a baby sister.

I have had lots of random people point out to me how large I am-mostly men. Some man looked at Scotty at Walmart and told him congrats, followed by "that's gonna be a big boy." Gee, thanks mister. She's not a boy. And she only weighs about 5 lbs. But thanks.

Sawyers room is a disaster. She still has no mattress in her crib and lots needs to be done. However I'm ok with it--she won't be sleeping in there for awhile, it's on the other side of the house and she will be in a bassinet in our room. I'm going to be nursing so it's easier that way.

I really do need to pack her diaper bag and my hospital bag though. Ive been having tons of contractions. I'm soooo lucky I haven't had any more bleeding. It's just not that common with CPP to go this far with no bleeding, or even hospital bedrest. I just want to make sure if I go in the middle if the night that I have all my best friends. AKA my makeup, hairdryer, straightening iron, my own shampoo and conditioner..:-)

OK, I think that's enough random info. Off to bed!!

Father Daughter Dance

2012-02-17T17:33:00.001-06:00

Thursday night, my little girl and her daddy went to their first ever father daughter dance. Melt my heart!!! I may have cried a little.

I think she's beautiful..I may be a tad partial. Pretty sure she was the prettiest girl there.

The twinkies

I'm blessed!

They (she) had fun. :-) she danced with her friends and had lots of fun. She danced with Scotty a couple of times he said. They went to eat after the dance. I hope they get to do this every year. I think it's awesome for daddies and daughters to have special time together!!

Vday

2012-02-14T18:43:00.001-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!!

This morning, we went to see my perinatolgist and Miss Sawyer is doing great and she weighs 4.5 lbs. I got no good pictures because the dumb placenta is so big and she kept turning her face into it! He's so fast, he measures her, tells me she's growing well and charges me $400. Go figure! Pretty much this lil girl is our Valentines present so we saved our money--no presents for each other.

After that, Scotty had to go have his liver functions checked and then it was lunch time. I chose Cheddar's.

I love the fishtank they have at the bar. My brother is a waiter there, so we had no wait. It was pretty VIP, ha. There was a long line. I almost felt bad cutting in front of so many people..

Then, we made a quick run to try and find Laiken a dress for the father-daughter dance on Thursday. We found one quick! We had 30 minutes until my OB appt.

Went to my OB appt and met with the other OB who will be doing my section and he was SO nice. He asked about our other kids, what we were naming baby, and he seemed to genuinely care. He said he loved Sawyer for a girl, his daughter had a friend named Sawyer. :-) Sooo....looks like if all goes according to plan, Miss Sawyer Bliss will be born via Csection on March 12.

After we left the Dr., we ran to Gordmans for a few things (I heart that place!) and to Kohls. SB ended up with 4 newborn sleepers. I realized last night she had one newborn sleeper!! There are still several things we need..I'm making a list. Please..if you have a baby tell me your must have item!! :-)

After shopping, I was sooo tired. All I wanted was this before we picked up the kids.

I gulped it.

Then we picked up kiddos. My sweet Cam made me this for Vday. I love that boy to the moon and back!! I am having a hard time thinking he's not a baby anymore..and he's 7.

Well, I think that's all for now!!!!!!

Mish mash

2012-02-13T22:38:00.001-06:00

Scotty finally came home on Saturday and I got out of prison. My Dad came over Friday night and brought pizza but he didn't stay:-) Thanks Dad! Ha. Thanks for the pizza, though!

On Saturday morning, the kids and I got up and made our fave! Waffles! I seriously heart the waffle maker.

It was so cold! We've had such a warm winter but winter sure came on Saturday!

I had agreed to do my nieces hair for her school dance on Saturday and I love doing that for her. She's 13, and I'm sure most of you that know me know the story behind her life, but long story short her mother was murdered and my brother (her dad) isn't in her life like he should be. She's just a precious girl and I love spending time with her. When she was a baby, she spent sooo much time with me. I can remember her sleeping in a bassinet next to my bed. I adored her, and still do. She's special to me.

While we were fixing her hair:-)

Miss Morgan all ready for her dance!

I told her I was sorry if her hair was too "floofy" but it was staying that way, ha:-)

Today was supposed to be a snow day. What a joke!!! It snowed and melted by like 11, followed by nasty sleet and rain. I kept the kids home anyway even though they didn't cancel school.

I caught my children playing makeover. And I mean Camden (7) was giving his older sister a makeover. He massaged her feet, did her toes, put makeup on her, fixed her hair...and I heard him tell her she was beautiful.

So sweet. I love when they get along. Usually these two get along great. Caden has a harder time getting along with his brother and sister lately, we've been working on this because it makes our days quite difficult.

Tomorrow is Valentines Day! I will be spending a day at Drs appts! I have a perinatal appt and growth scan, then an appt at my regular OB with her partner since he will be assisting.

Hope everyone has a great Vday!!

Catching up

2012-02-09T17:09:00.001-06:00

Well, it's been kind of hard to blog the last few days. We've had revival at church and Scotty is out of town and my Memaw thinks I can't be alone, so she is holding me hostage at my house at night. I love her to pieces, but I kinda just want to be alone! She won't take no for an answer. Let's see..what I've done..I made cake balls for revival on Monday.

Tuesday I put this up in Sawyers room..

Last night on the way to church, I hit a Weimerainer. It broke its leg. I went from door to door trying to find it's owner and noone was home and I couldn't just take the dog, so after about 30 minutes, I left. I feel so awful and we prayed for that dog last night.

This morning, when I got home there was a pit bull in my driveway. It took me 30 minutes to get the courage to get out of my car. As soon as it was far enough away I got out and hightailed it. I then saw there were two of them. They finally left. Hoping they don't come back!!

Yesterday I got my hair colored(I'm back tracking) and it's still not blonde. I'm not happy with it at all. I cried.
After I fixed it this morning..

I'm loving Sawyer's cloth diapers and can't wait to use them on her sweet booty!

I can't see my feet. :-)

Today I went to lunch with my friend Jennifer at the Burger Shack.

Before I left.

Yup, I think she's getting big. Plus I am really really hungry all the time lately since she's moved down.

Really not much else has been going on..I really want my husband to hurry up and get home. I miss him. I'm not going to know what to do when he goes back to work after S gets here. I think he's been home since late October. That's what I love about his job, but then he's gone for months at a time. Anyways..guess we will cross thar bridge later!

I guess that's all the update for now-my Memaw is back on her way over, ha!

It's my blog and I'll

2012-02-04T20:06:00.001-06:00

Blog what I wanna:-) even dumb, superficial stuff. First off, I was seriously bragging to someone the other day about how the women on my moms side of the family don't get gray hair, and I had never seen one on my head. Fast forward a week or so--

Yup, yup. It's gray, folks. And it was long. It had been growing out awhile. I decided now I'm going back blonde after 3 months of dark hair. Surprise, surprise. This was right around the time I got pregnant-

I was really blonde. I'm going back there. Yup, over one gray hair. So what? See ya Wednesday with new hair!

I have never seen feet as swollen as mine get at night! It's INSANE! I am blogging this even though Scotty swears it's not my feet!!

My calves, ankles, and feet all swell at the end of the day. Ridiculously huge, right? Just think Shallow Hal. :-) my feet never got this huge with my other kids! Last night I got in the floor to do my toenails and I'm pretty sure that was El Stupido bc I barely made it off the floor. I've been trying to keep my feet up as much as possible.

They look alot better if I don't stand on them all day. The above pic of the cankles creeps me out! It sooo doesn't look like my "real" feet. But I swear, it really is my feet.

I've got to go make a dish for church tomorrow. It's potluck after church. I've been procrastinating!

Yesterday and today

2012-02-03T20:43:00.001-06:00

Yesterday morning, Scotty had to go to his rheumatology appt and I had to go get my 2nd shot. Y'all, I have an embarrassing story. I went to the girls bathroom at the Drs. bldg {not in the clinic} but I didn't lock the door. I felt my band aid come off my booty, and I realized I was bleeding so dumb me--pulled my pants down in front of the mirror to fix my band aid. In walked an old lady. Sigh. I was mortified, she asked me if I needed help with something and I tried to explain but I just looked dumb- just an Ashley moment.

After we were done w/ our appts, we went to Academy to get some softball stuff for Laiken, they are now back practicing. I wanted to go to Duck Duck Goose, one of our large local consignment sales, but this one was in another town so we had never been to that one. It wasnt nearly as good as the Little Rock one. Anyhow, all I got was new stuff. Sad, I know.
Burp cloth

Sweet taggy blanket.

Today I slept late. Or went back to bed after the kids went to school. My feet have had it. I think they might explode. They are HUGE.

I got a package of some clothes I ordered from a blogger a few days ago.

Cute used onesies.

I think I got 5 outfits from her. Y'all. Blog sales and FB consignment sales are ADDICTING!

We ordered Sawyer's cloth diapers today. If I were like most CD moms, I would have already been stockpiling them. Oh, well. We have decided to go with gDiapers and Charlie Banana and will add diapers as we need to.
I love this one!

I know it's not for everyone, but it's something I really really wanted to do. I have done alot of research and watched alot of videos on prepping, washing, and all the different types. I think it's worth it for the money saved and for her little tushie. Please know, my other three were not CD'd and I thought people who did it were nuts. But im excited to start and to share with you guys how it goes!!

Sawyer's first diaper bag I ordered the other day and picked it up this afternoon.

Bad picture!

After we picked the kids up, we took them to one of our local used bookstores to get some books for the kids. I love this store, it's called Books and Baubles and it's really homey and neat in our little downtown.

We went to Walmart and I bought alot of new makeup and stuff I'm sure I didn't need:-)

We took the kids out to dinner and I got a yummy yummy steak. This is why my iron is so good, ha!

It.was.so.good!

But I'm huge. I shouldn't be eating steak, lol.

Now I'm home cuddled up in my PJs ready for a weekend at home. At least till Sunday church. Or softball practice tomm. It's pouring out! I love a rainy night! Especially on a Friday-movies, pjs, dessert.

Ok y'all- I have blabbed enough. Have a terrific weekend!!

OB and shopping

2012-02-01T15:04:00.001-06:00

So, this morning Scotty and I went to my check up. Baby is great! This is strange to me, but I don't have gestational diabetes, my iron is great..just have another major complication;) I had anemia and diabetes with the others. Anywho, I got my first steroid shot today. Gotta go back and get another one in the morning. I also have to go meet with Dr. H, the other Dr. in the practice bc he will be assisting with my csection in case of complications.

Scotty is going to Houston on business next week so he needed some new clothes. So we went shopping afterwards. I swear, he is worse than a woman. And he costs more!! I got two $12 dresses at Ross. I'm cheap:-) He's going to be gone most of the week, my family is freaking out at me being alone out here. I'm praying for no bleeding and no contractions while he's gone!! My mom is insistent upon staying with me because I don't live close to town.

I wanted to go to US Pizza for lunch, but Scotty refused bc it's not healthy{ his diet is driving me bonkers} let's be honest, noone craves fish and steamed veggies while pregnant. I digress..anyhow! I then got a major craving for Chipotle. He refused that too after MyFitnessPal said that it was too many calories. I may have gotten a little upset. We ended up at a face sushi/hibachi place.
Adding his calories

That was his.

This was mine!!! Ha;) plus I poured yum yum sauce all over my rice. Yummo!!

He then took me to a local baby boutique. We got Sassy three gowns.

She's spoiled;) I love her so much already I could burst. I walk into her room and feel so overwhelmed with God's redeeming love.

Happy Wednesday, y'all!!

A lil baby shower

2012-01-31T19:59:00.001-06:00

Ok y'all- I just havent felt like blogging! I've gotten blog lazy and use my iPhone more than I do computer. My iPhone got dropped in Sprite after my baby shower on Sat.--but, that's a whole 'nother story! Sigh. My mom took most of the baby shower pics on her camera, and I havent gotten them yet. Here are a few;)

My memaw is the dark headed one on the right- but she brought lots of her older lady friends;-)

This is Lauren. She is one of my BFF's and hair stylist.

Homemade blanket from my Memaws friend.

The sweetest lady from church made me this pink blanket. Love.

The same lady made my cake.

My mom and laiken playing with my friend Erin's baby, Luke.

Got her bow holder on the wall!

Closet is a MESS!

So much organization I need to do!! So much I need to buy!

I took my phone to the repair guy and got it back today. I was having SERIOUS iPhone withdrawals. Sad.

Tomorrow I go to my 31 week appt. Is it pathetic I get excited about these appointments?

I'll try to do an update tomorrow!!

Friday

2012-01-27T20:43:00.001-06:00

Think I'm gonna bring Miss Sassy home in this getup;))

How cute is this?

Love the rosettes on the booty.
{these are made by SheSheMade}

What's this you ask?

My belly. Can't see my feet. I'm HUGE. I have noticed people staring at me lately and I wonder if they know how they got here, ha!!

Went shopping all day with my Memaw and I could totally feel it by 3:00. I was hurting! After the kids got out of school, we took Caden to get his birthday present. He got a camera with a flip video. I discovered that he wants to be like Good Luck Charlie, the Disney show where the girl documented her baby sister from birth..I think he thinks he can get us all on TV. After picture 299 of my belly, I just told him if he took one more picture of me, I might scream. Camden also told me I looked like a sumo wrestler. AND, if I was going to swim this summer, I better get on The Biggest Loser. Yup, great kids;)

We went to Subway for dinner and after we ate, Scotty went to the bathroom and I took kids to car. Well, I tripped and fell while he was inside. I caught myself with my hands, twisted my ankle, landed on my side..ugh!! I was a hysterical sobbing mess! While I was laying on ground, Camden started crying and ran to find his daddy and ran out in front of car, while I'm screaming "no!" Im fine, but I just took a hot bath and am now cuddled up on the couch. Can we say I need to DE-stress??

Tomorrow is my niece's 13th bday and Cade will be 10 on Sunday so we are having a double trouble dinner tomorrow night @ a local steakhouse after my baby shower. I ordered them two separate cakes. I'll try to do a post tomorrow on my baby shower and the birthdays;)

Have a great weekend!!

Thursday Randoms

2012-01-26T11:57:00.001-06:00

Is it Thursday already? Wow. I'm so sleepy, this medicine makes me feel cuckoo!!;)

Last night was my night to cook for church. I think I'm done for awhile. It just makes me too tired to cook all that food!

Camden loves loves to help in the kitchen.

He loves to be a boy. He loves hunting, outdoors, and is girl crazy!! But this lil guy loves to cook, decorate, and go house hunting. He loves to go to look at houses with me. Funny kid.

I bought this MudPie outfit from a blogger..

I also got a cute MudPie outfit from a lady at church last night!! I was slightly excited, ha! I am so loving their Spring line this year!

The weather here has been really yucky the last couple of days. Good thing I like the rain!

I'm getting excited about my baby shower!

Cade's 10th {yes, 10th} birthday is Sunday. Whoa. I cannot believe I will be the mother of a 10 year old!!! Scotty is taking him rock climbing while I'm at my baby shower on Sat., then we are all going to meet up for dinner afterwards. I'm too tired to plan a huge party for him.

I am slacking in the Vday decorating dept. I printed this Subway art for free. I am going to go to the Dollar Tree and Dollar Store in a little while for Cade's bday stuff and hoping to find some cheap Vday decorations. I already have a few things, but my wreath has had it and I'd like to find a new one.

Happy Thursday!

Heart and shower

2012-01-24T18:54:00.001-06:00

I went to Dr. yesterday {cardiologist} and had an ECHO and reviewed my Holter monitor results. My heart rate never went below 110, even while I was sleeping. It gets up to 160 during activity. I've dealt with this my whole life, and I'm kind of used to it. But I'm exhausted, and feel like I've ran a marathon and when I excercise (not pregnant) I can't breathe! Eating really shoots it up there, too. Anyhow, my heart looks good and there has been no damage to my heart since my last ECHO! Yay! It's still not good to walk around with my heart beating that fast, it puts a strain on your heart. Started a new medicine last night and although it makes me a little dizzy, my heart rate is in the 80's. It's weird not feeling my heart race. Plus, my BP has dropped.

I'm having a baby shower on Saturday. Wish you all could come! It's an open invitation;) I just have mixed feelings about having a baby shower! I didn't really want one because of my emotions about losing Ryan and, well it's just hard to explain. I have gotten alot of invitations over the last two years to baby showers and I've chunked them. It's hard to invite someone when you didn't go to theirs and you didn't even RSVP. My church wanted to throw me a shower and I felt like I should accept, but I'm still not registering anywhere. Or sending out invitations. I still feel weird about it, but I am a little excited;)

Emotions

2012-01-22T21:03:00.001-06:00

I'm keeping these puppies propped up tonight. Whew.

You should have seen my shoving these monsters into my boots before church this morning. I ripped my maternity spanx and I may or may not have cried. I wanted to wear a dress with leggings and could only wear boots. I had to dig for another pair and then fix my makeup because I had runny mascara. I'm glad it's not summertime because I sure don't want anyone seeing these feet. I'm not sure I have ever been this emotional before during a pregnancy or I'm sure I have but everything makes me cry. {keeping it real}. I feel like this has been the longest roller coaster ride ever and glad the end is sooner than later. I will not relax until this girl is in my arms!!!

After church. I posted this pic on FB, and someone said "wow she's gonna come out as big as her big sister"...um thanks. Yeah. I already feel like a swollen watermelon and my feet look like inflated balloons with sausage links for toes. My mom wanted me to go get a pedicure for my yucky cracking swollen feet and there.is.no.way I am letting anyone see these feet!! I'd probably just cry at the thought of someone seeing them.
Friday night, after the Globe Trotters, we went to Chick Fil A and Cade was being horrible. He was throwing fits and I swear my blood started boiling and I could feel the tears. {yeah, an almost 10 year old made me cry}. He was being ridiculous and he shoved Camden's food off the table and it hit the floor. Camden started crying and I lost it. These teenage girls were staring at us laughing probably thinking I was the craziest woman ever.
My children have their moments. They aren't perfect angels all the time!;)
Tomorrow, I have some heart testing. Please pray everything is OK. Other than the issues I already know I have;)
Good night y'all. This mama is tired!!!:)) {we just got home from church}

Friday and Saturday

2012-01-21T20:04:00.001-06:00

Yesterday morning, I woke up so swollen! My feet are huge. My Dr. told me to keep feet up and if BP gets any higher, go to L&D. We had big plans yesterday so I monitored my pressure and it was fine most of the day.

Laiken had an honors assembly yesterday. So proud of my sweetie!!

We had tickets to see the Harlem Globetrotters so we went to that last night. The kids enjoyed it, we sat courtside and they had lots of fun. You should have seen my feet after all the walking at Verizon arena. Anyhow.

My bedroom is all painted now. It's blue!!!!

I Loooove the color and I'm so glad I went for it. After I get the house back in order, I will take pictures of all the new paint. Still have lots more to do in the house. Its awesome to have a whole house makeover..feels new and fresh;)

Today we got out and bought a new computer, I'm excited to use it! I have not blogged from my computer in forever. We got an All in one touch screen. Hope I love it;)

Hope you have all had a great weekend! I'm sitting with my feet propped up.

Sawyer and stuff

2012-01-18T22:01:00.001-06:00

I am 29 weeks pregnant with Sawyer Bliss. I can already tell you, she's gonna be a feisty sassy lil girl!;)
She weighs 2.8 lbs. She's perfect! I'm going to get the steroid shots at my next OB appt to accelerate lung maturity. She has a huge mouth. Big lips. Wonder where that curse came from?!
Weird picture, but my peri thought it was funny. He said he was giving her first ENT appt.

Where is says nose, that's her nostrils. Looking straight up into them. Odd;)
I've now gained 20 lbs. I'm ready to go on a diet. Seriously. My appetite is not helping and scotty is on a diet and eating rabbit food, running, and losing weight. Gag. She's worth it all, though. I already told y'all I craved pop tarts. Oh, and diet Sun Drop. Except it causes the worst ever heartburn!! Tums are my best friend. I'm just so ready to meet this little girl! I love her so much already my heart could burst!!!

Kitchen is done!

Please excuse the ghetto grill and Home Depot Bucket. Haven't gotten blinds back up yet;)

Its not this color green, either. Showing up funny in pictures. Oh, well. It's much brighter than the orange.

The new living room color is really growing on me. Scotty keeps telling me how clean it looks.
Yesterday, my pic of Laikens artwork for Sawyer didn't show up so here it is!
So sweet;)

Tonight on the way to church, the sky was so beautiful!!

Just love seeing Gods handiwork!!

Goodnight!

Just stuff

2012-01-17T23:18:00.001-06:00

More random stuff. I'm boring, I know. Tomorrow I see Dr. C, my perinatologist so I will do a pregnancy update.

Paint. It's growing on me. A little.
Here's the new kitchen color. Im going to miss the orange, but it was a little dark.
{the edges still have to be "cut in"}

Kids bathroom went from brown to bright. I've had this shower curtain for a couple of years so I pulled it back out because it matched the paint so well.

Sneak peak of Sawyer's crib set. She still has no mattress so it's just thrown in the crib.

My sweet Laiken made this for her sister. She's a good little artist.

This is the living room color. We dont even use this room but it is open to the kitchen and dining areas.

Last random of the night. I'm totally craving pop tarts like crazy!!

Its sad I took a picture of my pop tart.

Monday Randoms

2012-01-16T19:06:00.001-06:00

Today started off early going to get my Holter monitor.

Yes, I walked around the mall like this, went to a pizza joint, blah blah. I felt very weird, haha.

Sine this morning, Miss Sawyer has been very inactive. It started to worry me. Went to OB and she had a hard time finding her HB and baby was just being so still. My heart was racing so fast she couldn't differentiate between the two so she sent me off to the hospital to be monitored. After about 5 minutes on that monitor, she came to life. The non stress test looked perfect.;) Sigh of relief!!

While I was at the Dr. I got this text from a lady at church who is the sweetest.

I just love sweet friends;)) And I love that I go to church with some awesome ones!!!

Painting is almost done. After everything is put back in place, I'll do pictures. :-) I dont love it. Almost want to change it back. Hubby would kill me if I said a word so I'll live with it. Maybe I will after all my stuff is put back.

And? I just love these boys. Camden always falls asleep on Scotty. And then Scotty goes to sleep. And then crazy mama takes pictures!!

Both sleeping with their hands on their face!!

My sweet sweet mini me.

Good night!

Paint

2012-01-14T20:52:00.001-06:00

Ok, so this will be quick!! Our paint job got underway today and for the first few hours, I HATED the living/hallway color. I'm not used to lighter colors. It's Frappe by Valspar.

See how dark it was before?

Close up of new color.

My orange kitchen totally looks terrible now;)
{and excuse all the junk in the middle}

I think I love it now, my kitchen is going to be a shade of grey-ish green and I think it will all blend together well. I plan on lots of rustic modern charm..{hopefully}. I really have some furniture pieces I want to paint eventually too.
Our master bedroom is about to be painted this blue:

It's Eddie Bauer Valspar Signature in Mercer Blue. I cannot believe I'm about to change to a blue bedroom! Soo not like me;)

I'm an instant gratification kind of girl and I want right now. Like I want this paint to get done so I can decorate. I have spent over half the day on my fave cottage design blogs being inspired. I see burlap, stripes, black frames, bowls of apples...painted antiques. I have lots of time to get these things done..but I get something in my head and it starts turning;)

Night y'all!

Last Night

2012-01-13T18:33:00.001-06:00

Last night, I had a little issue that landed me in labor and delivery for monitoring.

I just laid and watched TV and thought about alot of things.

Scotty played Family Fued.

I wasn't too worried about anything for once. I loved laying there listening to the sweet sound of my daughters heartbeat.

Although it is a different hospital, I experienced all kinds of emotions going into labor and delivery. I wasn't put into a room in the way back of the floor. I wasn't taken the long way around to shield me from seeing newborns. I was wheeled right into a regular room where I heard the glorious cries of a newborn baby just born. It took me back to laying in that room for so many days trying to make my body give birth to a baby who was already in heaven.

I truly honestly thought that I would never have another baby and this hasn't been the easiest experience. I can't even begin to explain the emotions that happen during a pregnancy after a loss. The happiness and thankfulness is like none other but the fear, grief, and anxiety are gripping. And then to find out that there are problems and have a high risk pregnancy--well, that set me over the edge. I prayed so hard and knew this baby's life was in His hands.
"Delight yourself also in the Lord: and he shall give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4

I truly never thought I would make it this far. In the back of my mind, the thought of her not making it has always been there. I have been neurotic and cried when she wasn't moving as much as I thought.. Someone told me recently "When your faith increases, your fear decreases"..

Last night as I lay there, thinking as I listened to her steady heartbeat and knowing I've been preparing for this sweet life at home, I realized that I am probably going to bring home a perfect baby. A baby who will bring hope in the wake of our storms, a baby whose face I will look into and know she is here for a purpose. Redemption.

The good news is I got to come home from the hospital and everything is OK for now:-)

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Baby Stuff

2012-01-12T20:24:00.001-06:00

Thank you hubby and brother in law. Sawyer's paint is DONE! Now I can't wait to start on the rest of the room!

Use your imagination.:-) Tomorrow the whole house makeover begins with paint. I finally decided on colors and hoping I don't regret it!!!!!

My first order from a FB consignment sale came in. Just some bows and play clothes.

Like the crab on the booty;)

I'm on my iPhone, so no links..:( sorry! I've been meaning to get on the computer to blog, but walk right by. My favorite (so far) is Pink Piggy Childrens consignment. Search it on FB and you should be able to find it. Polka dot Posies has great bows for under $3. My friend Melody(can't link to her blog either) texted me the link to girlscrochetheadbands.com and they have leg warmers for 2.99!! My mom ordered her a few today.

I'm on a serious budget. 4 kids are expensive! If you have any good sites, let me know!!

Mish Mash

2012-01-11T16:45:00.001-06:00

I'm an indecisive person, y'all. Took me forever to pick out those paint samples for Sawyer's room.

Well after the paint was on the wall, I decided it looked blue!!
I took a picture and did what any rational person would do. Consult Twitter.
Everyone said it looked it gray, but I swear it was blue.

The picture really does looks gray, but it's not. So we went to Lowe's for more paint. I found this picture online and I liked the gray and it was Lowe's paint, so I just went with it.

It's Valspar Simply Gray. He's almost done painting, so tomm we can start the pink stripe.

When I went to get the kids today, I was craving a Sonic Diet Vanilla Coke like nobody's business. I could taste it.

Today is a GORGEOUS day. I took these pics out by my house on the way home. Sometimes I despise living out in the country, but I love the scenery.

Its around 60 out and sunny, but tomorrow its supposed to be really cold. It cracks me up that I see people out wearing flipflops and shorts. Crazy! It's gonna be over 70 before I do that and not until spring!

Tomorrow I will post pics of the nursery progress, and links to some consignment shops y'all asked about.

I'm huge. I need to do a pregnancy update, it's been forever! I will try and do that soon. I feel like my face is huge. My lips are even swollen and they are already huge enough.

Well, were off. Going to eat steak with my family. My mouth is watering. :-)

Nursey and ramblings

2012-01-10T18:38:00.001-06:00

I really feel as if I have nothing to blog about.

My Dr. did call this afternoon and say that my 24 hr urine protein level wasnt quite preeclampsia, but that it was close. We will keep a close eye on it. Next week I go to the cardiologist and perinatologist.

We started getting ready for Sawyer's nursey.

This is the paint. We are using the 2 middle colors.

The walls will be gray with a thick pink stripe. I'm trying to decide on colors for curtains, rug, etc. I'm on a budget. Suggestions?:-)
Scotty started the painting tonight.
I love these houndstooth curtains, but think I want something more girly.

Decisions, decisions...

I found this idea board and love it. Close to what I'm going for, except throw in some citrus green.

I have been feeling very tired, unmotivated, yuck, fat, tired, blah, and did I mention tired?

I'm 28 weeks pregnant which means I only have like 8 weeks left. At the most. (Dr. doesn't want to go later than 36 weeks). It's creeping up.

So, we are trying to get everything we need for this little girl. I've become totally addicted to Facebook consignment shops. I bought a whole bunch of hairbows last night from a girl for $1. I really need practical stuff, like bottles, breast pump, diapers, and more hairbows. I am having a baby shower given my my church on the 28th. Hopefully I'll get some of the practical stuff, so I can save my moolah for stuff like this:
(totally kidding, slightly)

I think I've done enough rambling for now. Talk to you all soon!!

Sawyer Bliss:-)

2012-01-08T23:10:00.001-06:00

YouTube Video

Saturday

2012-01-07T22:50:00.001-06:00

Today, I had plans to get up, get ready, and get the kids rooms organized and the boys merged. I was ready to get up and go get Sawyer's crib from WalMart site to store and put it together!

Got up and we started work on boys rooms. We have 5 bedrooms, but we are moving boys together so we can still have a guest room. We have too much stuff..:-) Anyhow, I had bought two cute bedding sets from Target so after Scotty got all the furniture moved, I opened them up. Got one on the bed and moved to the next one. Lo and behold, it was missing the sheets and pillowcases! I was so annoyed. So a trip to Target became necessary. As we were walking in the store, I started having contractions that HURT. We hurried and left and went to Walmart. We had plans to put all our change in the CoinStar machine and as we were standing there, I was hurting so bad! BTW, we had $70 of change in our bedroom! I was in tears by the time we got the crib. After we got in the car, I called the on call Dr. He told me I should be home in bed and drinking fluids. He made me feel stupid, but I won't get into that:-) So, I've been laying down all afternoon. Feeling better. Still having crampy feelings, but nothing like earlier. Scotty got the boys room finished.
Cade's bed. I love the basketball court rug.

Cam's bed

Their dresser and new lamp

Hopefully I will be feeling better for church tomorrow and to get cracking on Sawyer's room. All her stuff is sitting in boxes in the living room. Carseat, crib, pack and play, clothes...just ready to get it out of boxes and into her room! :-)

As for me and my house

2012-01-06T18:12:00.001-06:00

We will call the Hogs! Woo pig Sooie!!

Tonight is the Cotton Bowl in Dallas! Wishing I was in Arlington:-( I can't travel, so I will be watching the game from my couch. And eating yummy game food. I made homemade salsa, guacamole, and we are having hot wings!

I will say all my FB and Twitter friends are making me a little jealous of all the posts from Dallas, ha! I'm sure my Twitter feed will be full of Hog posts tonight!

I am feeling a little better. Waiting on my results from blood and urine test. I'll update more on that later:-)
I got her crib bedding in yesterday!!

Here's a sneak peek:

Her crib was supposed to be here today, but it didn't make it.

And, just for fun. An afternoon video of my kiddos:)

YouTube Video

Happy Weekend!!

Baby and Mama update

2012-01-04T16:52:00.001-06:00

Well, I havent blogged much since kids have been on break. They went to school today. Back to the grind. It's hard after they've been sleeping till 10 every day! Last night I wrote their morning schedules on the chalkboard. Hard to see, but I love it for writing them notes!!

Sorry, it's a bad iPhone pic. I never use my camera. I'm sure I will after baby girl gets here.

So I had to be at the dr early this morning. I've been feeling bad for a few days. My heart rate has been super high. I do have heart problems, and it always gets worse during pregnancy. Well my BP was 140/100. My heart rate was upper 140's this morning. I had a trace of protein in my urine, so they sent me for lab work and I will start my 24 hour urine in the morning. Praying it's just my heart making it high and not preeclampsia. The dr. put me back on beta blockers so hopefully it will slow it down. Do not want to go to hospital!!!!!!!!

We ordered Sawyer's crib and bedding, should be here on Friday. We are moving the boys in together (prob a horrible idea, ha) and we got them all new stuff for their room. We just decided it would be practical to keep our guest bedroom and use Camden's room for baby girl. I will post pics when I get it all done. Or when Scotty does:-) I'm taking it easy!

Twenty Twelve

2012-01-01T22:17:00.001-06:00

I'm not a believer in "resolutions" but I do believe in making goals for myself every once in awhile and I think the New Year is a great time to do this, as so many are making their resolutions to lose weight, blah blah. (And yes, I've done that too) AND, I need to lose weight;)

I have really been conscious of who I surround myself with. I've distanced myself from friendships that haven't been healthy. Since my kids are older, alot of my friends don't have babies or smaller children and I'm making am effort to make friends with moms who have babies. I need that. Maybe I'll join a new moms group or go to MOPS after Sawyer gets here.

I've blogged about fear before, but the loss of Ryan has instilled a fear in me I've never had. I'm praying so hard about the fears I have right now. As I partook in the Lords Supper tonight on New Years Day, tears slid down my cheeks as I felt so guilty for my fears when He died on the cross for me. He is in control.

I'm not one of "those moms". You know, the ones who make their kids breakfast and have lunches made the night before and have the kids schedules organized, etc. My kids are lucky to get a poptart thrown at them and a lunchable for lunch. They may dig for their socks in the sock basket. Yes, sock basket. We have a community sock basket. And you know what? I'm ok with this. I'm ok with not being perfect. Can I be more organized? Yes. Am I going to try? Yes. But I'm no longer going to beat myself up about it. We are trying things around here to be more efficient, and getting ready for Sawyer's arrival. We are all different. We just had a great session of Sunday School lessons about the different personality types. I'm a Sanguine. You know, the fun, fly by the seat of your pants, who cares about organization type. I'm married to a Melancholy. Mr. Organized. Likes plans. Anyhow...I want to try to improve a few things. ;)

I want to spend more time in my Bible and more time praying for my friends and family. The most important things in my life are God, my marriage, and my children. These are the things I need to focus on the most. Sometimes I put my kids first and it's a hard struggle. I need to focus more on my marriage and my husband.

I want my kids to know how special they are and how much they are loved. I want to spend more time with each child. They are all so different and have such different personalities. I want them to know the most important thing in their lives is their relationship with Christ. It's my job to raise them in the way they should go.

I want to be less shy. More outgoing. That's why I like blogging, I can write what I feel. :)

Last year, before I lost Ryan, I had wanted to do some volunteer work I could include my kids in, but I got so caught up in myself and my grief that I didn't. I really want to make this a goal for this year.

I struggle with contentment alot. We have moved alot. I felt more at peace and so much more happy when we lived in Nashville. I don't know why being away from my hometown was so great, but I wish alot we had stayed. This time last year we planned on moving to NWA, but after house hunting and a few other things, we put it off. I want to want to be OK with where I'm at, but parts of me still want to move back to Tennessee or even NWA. I don't think I'll live here forever, but I want to be content with where I am and I pray for that constantly.

Wow, this was long. :-) I wish everyone the happiest, healthiest 2012. A new year doesn't really mean much. He is still the same today as He was yesterday, and tomorrow.

Christmas!

2011-12-26T21:53:00.001-06:00

Did you have a good Christmas? I hope so;)

Tonight wrapped up the 5th go round of presents for my kids. We went out to celebrate my Grandpa's bday and opened gifts from my grandparents and my sweet Aunt Linda in New Mexico.

Christmas started for us on Friday night when we got to the cabin. (thank you Dad for renting the cabin!)

Gifts

Cam

Games

Dad

My new Uggs..thanks Dad and Sharon!

I might've gotten two pairs;)

On Saturday, we went to the car museum and just hung out.

Me with JFK (and his car)

Gotta have a Hog on your car!

I caught hubby with his pant legs rolled up..silly boy!

We came home on Saturday and opened presents from Santa. He came while we were gone!

Someones gonna shoot their eye out!!! LOL;)

Later on, we went to mother in laws. No pictures there.:( then, we went to my moms for more presents!

My mom and Laiken and Cam

I wish Caden would get in more pics:( makes me sad when I look through them all.

Today, I stayed in bed until this afternoon. Time to celebrate Grandpa's birthday!! I thank God I got such a wonderful grandpa!

My hubby got a HUGE dessert

My mom and Grandpa

I found Caden!! Woo Hoo!!!!

My sweet, sweet boy.

My Memaw

Cam with Grammy's ugly dog;)

It's almost time for a New Year. Can't believe Christmas has come and gone already... It's almost a major milestone here at our house..in January Cade will be 10! Double digits!!!!! Wow. Hard to believe!! In February, Laiken turns 9! And in March, Sawyer Bliss makes her debut!! So much to look forward to this year. I am so thankful. God has truly blessed us!!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-23T08:23:00.001-06:00

I wanted to tell everyone to have a wonderful Christmas. I'm packing up to leave to go to a cabin in the woods with my family. I'm praying for peace and serenity;)

This is where we will be staying..looks peaceful huh? There is no wifi, no cell service, no TV...no twitter, Facebook, or blogging for me!
My kids are not too thrilled they won't be able to watch TV, but we are taking cards and board games, and at the end of the day, I want them to know family is most important and that HE is the reason we celebrate CHRISTmas, not because of a fat man in a red suit.
We do "do" Santa, and I love the traditions, I just think there is too much focus on Santa. I just don't make a huge deal of it.
This will be our last Christmas as a family of five, next year we will be a family of 6! I can't wait to have a sweet baby next Christmas...;)
I wish you all the Merriest Christmas ever!!! You know I will be back Monday with pictures, ha!

Fears and tears and hopeful dreams

2011-12-21T20:29:00.001-06:00

Today I went to my regular OB. We talked about bleeding, delivery, emergencies...fun stuff. I have so many fears I can't even wrap my mind around them.

So we decided IF no complications I will have an amnio at 35 weeks. Delivery will be early March-ish. This is like 10-11 weeks away... Seems very soon. She did say she will have another dr. scrub in with her due to bleeding risks and the need for assistance. I really love my dr, she listens to my fears and doesn't brush me off.

It is very likely I will bleed, dilate, or contract before then. I will be seeing her every two weeks and the perinatologist every 4. I am on restricted activity, but not bedrest yet. I am feeling lots of pressure due to the placenta so I take it very easy. This may change soon. They cannot check me, nor do they want to do a transvaginal ultrasound. They also don't want me to dilate so since this is not my first baby, and I've dilated at 35ish weeks with my last full term birth, if I do or contract and bleeding starts, delivery is imminent. There are just lots of scenarios that could happen. I'm trying to make it to 30 weeks, that would be huge. I do not want to lose another child. I'm terrified. I would love to make it to the 35-36 week mark for delivery. Please pray Sawyer is a good girl in there!;) I'm headed straight to the hospital at any sign of bleeding.

I know sections are very common, and lots of you guys have had them! I'm still scared:( Tell me what to expect!

I'm SO thankful that I have two doctors! I'm thankful I have a perinatologist and he told me that my OB was the captain of the ship, he was just there to make sure this little girl keeps growing and stays healthy.

When I was pregnant last year with Ryan, I bled so much and my dr. continued to tell me it was fine. He ignored me. I begged for help. I wish he had referred me to a perinatologist instead of me always wondering.

I cannot stop staring at my gazillion pics of Sawyer Bliss and she is so perfect! Scotty and I are already talking about who she's going to look like. Our kids all look so different. It's amazing to watch your child grow inside of you..what a miracle. He is in control.

Updates!

2011-12-20T16:21:00.001-06:00

Guess I better update!
Camden is doing a little better. He went to school today and shouldn't have. It was the last day and the Christmas party though:( His lungs have cleared some.
Laiken went to have her repeat chest xray today and she is still wheezy but better. Her xray will be sent off. Should know more tomm. Basically two of my kids have had severe pneumonia.

Today was perinatologist day.
Here is my perfect girl:

Look at those lips. I already want to kiss them!!
Here's a huge foot!

Belly shot from this afternoon:

So, verdict is in. I have a complete previa with 0% chance it will move. Csection is my only option. The perinatologist will see me again in a couple of weeks to make sure she is still properly growing and placenta is functioning. She is transverse(guess it doesn't matter) and she is at the top of my uterus above my belly button. The goal is to make sure I don't contract or bleed. Delivery will have to happen early to prevent this. My goal is for a healthy baby, and a healthy mommy!
Here is my placenta and cervix (sorry if this is tmi)

Oops, it's sideways. You can see the big white blob is the placenta and the bladder and cervix are labeled.

This morning at the hospital, a lady stepped out in the elevator from the bathroom and she had toilet paper hanging out her butt. I started to giggle and I was about to tell her but Scotty would nt let me. He took a pic of the poor lady and I have felt so bad about it all day...

It was so bad.:( I feel like an awful person.

Today the kids are out of school for the holidays! Yay! Got to get then well, we are gearing up for a Christmas in a cabin!;)

Here's my sweet girl. I love her so much!! Isn't she pretty?

Happy Tuesday!

Cam's hospital trip

2011-12-17T11:18:00.001-06:00

Pray this child is well by Christmas!!!

Yesterday, we left him with my grandparents so we could finish some last minute shopping.

He threw up all day still because of the fluid in his lungs, antibiotics were hard on him, and he was coughing horribly still. So it was off to the hospital we went last night.
His first ever IV, he didn't cry, took it like a big boy, and was just so good!!!

He looked at it once while she was putting it in and he said "ohmygosh" and turned his head back. ;)

Chilling watching TV.

We are back home after iv fluids and antibiotics, but he's still really sick and I'm worried about him. Hopefully he will feel better soon.

Thursday

2011-12-15T21:17:00.001-06:00

Well. I ended up going to lunch with one friend! The other cancelled because her hot water heater blew up:( I must make sure to check from now on when I make plans. Oops.

My friend Lauren and I went to a local little cafe we like.

I had a half of a raspberry chipotle wrap, and 1/2 of a taco soup. Then we indulged in this:

This is chocolate bourbon pecan pie. Heavenly. Rich. And almost $5.00 a slice.

Camden had his Drs appt at 2, so I met Scotty to pick Cam up. Turns out he really is one sick little boy. He now has nasty pmemonia. He still won't eat. He got a shot of antibiotics and she said we would try oral for 48 hrs before she did IV antibiotics. He is 7.5 and only weighs 45 lbs, I really don't want him losing any weight:( Pray he gets better! It rains it pours!

Remember when Laiken slammed her finger in the car door? It's been awhile..well tonight while she was washing her hair, it started falling off!
She was SLIGHTLY hysterical.

Look how awful?!

Well, it's off now after some drama and tears.

Good night! I'm ready for bed!

One of those days..

2011-12-14T21:56:00.001-06:00

Whew. I'm tired!

Camden has been sick all week with croup. It is not fun listening to your child hack up their lungs all day. It kills me. He hasn't eaten, he's already tiny, he's miserable, he throws up every time he coughs and he looks awful. I'm praying he gets better soon! Sickness is getting old in this house. We will be going to the Dr. tomorrow AGAIN.

Tonight was the kids program at church and it was finger food potluck. I'm the kitchen lady (ha) so I had to go early to get drinks ready. I made cocktail weenies and puppy chow. Scotty and I left the kids with my grandparents to go early. I put the stupid cocktail weenies in my lap. Can I just say Scotty, me, and my Suburban became covered in the sauce? Everywhere! It was scalding hot, I was crying and Scotty was yelling. I'm sure that scene would be hysterical to some..my jeans, boots, shirt and hands were covered. Scotty's hands were sticky and covered. He had to drive with one hand. Needless to say, he was more upset about the burb being covered in sauce. I spent the night covered in sticky stuff. Not fun.

Sawyer has gotten in some position that is totally killing my back. She's still breech I'm pretty sure. It may not be her, just pregnancy weight related back pain. It hurts:(

We got home and my sweet less than one lb chihuahua pooped in her crate. I'm dreading cleaning that. Hubby refuses. Oh, totally forgot. Best part about tonight. Camden was coughing so hard he threw up in the sanctuary. On the carpet. I had no choice but to bring him, we had no where to leave him.

I totally realized that I promised two friends lunch at the same time at different places tomorrow. Pregnancy brain! Besides, I'm going to have to cancel on both and I feel terrible but Cam is just so sick we are going back to the Dr.

All I want to do is pull the covers over my head and sleep way late. I'm ready for Christmas break. School wears me out this time of year. Too much going on!! No rest for the weary, I suppose.

Enough mindless rambling. Goodnight!

Sawyer update

2011-12-13T16:41:00.001-06:00

Well, last week I didn't post any pregnancy picture on the blog. So here is the 23 week from last week:

My very nice husband looked at me while we were in line at Wal-Mart the other day and said I looked full term.

I haven't really done any updates lately, or any more vlogs. I keep meaning to. But I haven't:-)

Things are going well right now. My biggest problem is heartburn and it feels like I ate fireants. Nothing is really helping either. My only other issue may or may not be pregnancy related, but I have alot of anxiety. I worry alot that something is going to happen to her. Yesterday I found myself on Dr. Google and asking people on Twitter about fetal movement. Sigh.

I ordered Sawyer her first SheShe gown (sheshemade.com) I'm blogging from iPhone, and haven't figured out if I can link sites to my blog from phone. I also got her a onesie from there. I've ordered socks and baby legs and hairbows. I really think she needs these:
In every color:-) sweet summer baby!

I decided on crib bedding, but then we decided to put off getting a crib. Or decorating the room. In reality she will be sleeping in our room, all our babies did so a bassinet and pack n play will probably be fine for a few months. I ordered a badger basket. Anyone used one?
Here's a picture:

Its like a round crib. Comes with the bedding. I like the black toile to match my room.

I'm nervous I won't have everything I need for baby girl! It's been sooo long since we've had a baby. We bought quite a few newborn disposable diapers, but I still need my cloth diapers. I still need so much! My main concern is big enough hairbows and cute clothes. Only kidding!! Ok, I may be telling the truth, ha!

My next update will be after my perinatologist appt next Tuesday. I'll skip this week because my belly looks just like it did last week!

Beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2011-12-12T17:27:00.001-06:00

I have gotten behind in the blogging business. I have alot I want to blog about, but we shall keep it simple today :-)

Sunday after church we went to the Rivermarket for Cocoa with the Clauses. The kids got their picture made with Santa, saw an elf, the Grinch, and a Reindeer. We took them Ice Skating and then they warmed up with hot chocolate.

I haven't been able to get their pictures for Christmas cards, because Laiken has been sick and pitiful, and now Camden is sick. I just gave up and went to Walgreens with their not so great Santa picture and made cards today. I've got to get cards sent out soon!! I'm late!!

Scotty and I watching kids ice skate. Why oh why is my face so puffy?:(

Tweedle dee, tweedle dum

This was the sweetest man! He made a great elf. His name is Frankie.

My look alikes. Maybe Sawyer will look like me and Camden?;)

Cade and the reindeer

He was feeling terrible. Poor little guy. I felt bad we drug him out in the cold..hot chocolate helped though! He's still super cute!

Laiken fell on the ice a bunch.

I loved the Grinch.

We had a great time! Perfect day in December!

Parade, Laiken, and pearl harbor

2011-12-07T09:10:00.001-06:00

Last night we had our Christmas parade. I will say it was disappointing this year, especially since we had to get out in the freezing weather including wet rain/snow! The kids enjoyed it, so that's all that matters. I got no pictures of the kids because they weren't having it!;)
I bundled up!!

Our attempt at a self portrait!

Look at our front yard this morning!! So pretty!!;))

Too bad school wasn't cancelled. :(

The Dr. called about Laiken yesterday and she has got some right lung issues. We will have more testing, but she has right middle lobe syndrome. She has been to school one day since Thanksgiving. I felt bad taking her to the parade last night, she sat on the ground. It's hard for her to stand up. We went to Target yesterday afternoon and she sat down while we were in line. She's not really eating, and she's sleeping a lot. I'm not wanting to send her to school because I don't think she can handle a full day. Please pray for her to get well!!

Also today is Pearl Harbor day. My papa was a pearl harbor survivor and this day is important to me, as we remember these men who survived that awful day and those who lost their lives...

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!

Monday not so fun day

2011-12-05T18:45:00.001-06:00

So, Laiken has been sick since Thanksgiving. Found out last week it was pneumonia. Started antibiotic on Friday which in turn made her violently ill. She puked and puked after every dose. Her cough makes me cringe, it's pitiful. This weekend was rough! I knew there was no chance of school for her today, even after her missing all last week. So we went back to the doctor this morning and got a shot, new antibiotics, and new xrays. She's got yucky pneumonia and the Dr. was a little concerned about some abnormal spots on her lungs, so her xrays are going off to a specialist and they will call me in the morning. I'm praying hard it's nothing!!
My Memaw bought Laiken a new robe and jammies so we went to my grandparents house to wait on time to pick up boys. Laiken put on her comfy jammies and slept all afternoon.
Tonight I was supposed to go to a meeting but I'm just tired. And I haven't done anything! I'm achy and irritable. Think I'll snuggle with my beautiful sick girl instead;)
She's so miserable:(

Remodeling

2011-12-04T18:16:00.001-06:00

I am a wishy washy person when it comes to making long term decisions! We have decided to repaint the interior of our house and redo some things in the kitchen. I've been wanting to do the black cabinets for awhile, we just haven't gotten around to it. I love love love cottage houses. Since I was a little girl, I used to dream of living in a southern style plantation home..
And since we live in the boondocks and on 25 acres, I think a cottage feel would be perfect. I just cannot commit to paint colors! Argh! I'm thinking grays, blue grays, very light vintage...
But our walls are so dark now, I'm having a hard time seeing the light..

I'm loving both of these kitchens and want the mix of old and new. I just want to run to the antique store right now;)
I'm hoping over the next few years to transform this place into a cottage dream! I follow some amazing blogs about cottage living and I've been drooling over their houses for months! Tomorrow is the day I have to decide about paint colors..wish me luck! Suggestions???

Happy anniversary

2011-12-03T09:35:00.001-06:00

Nine years ago today, I married my best friend!

'cause God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

And for when I think I've lost my way

There are no words left to say, it's true

God gave me you

Gave me you!!!

Happy anniversary to my sweet husband! It's been a roller coaster of a decade and we've been through more ups and downs than I could have ever possibly dreamed..but there's noone else I'd have rather ridden this roller coaster with!!
I couldn't have asked for a better hands on daddy, one that changed dirty diapers and rocked babies in the middle of the night, who has guided our babies into the big kids they are, our kids looks up so much to their daddy, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to see you with our new daughter and start parenthood all over again!! I am looking forward to the next decade of our lives! I love you Scotty!;)

Sick and meals

2011-12-02T19:39:00.001-06:00

I've been lacking in the blogging. I have a sick girl!! She got sick on Thanksgiving and has been sick ever since. Today we found out she has pneumonia.

The poor baby is coughing every second! It kills me:( The antibiotics she got for her lungs made her violently sick. She hasn't really eaten in a few days so it probably was hard on her empty tummy. I hate when they feel so bad!

I started a meal plan to save money and have simple dinners. We love or I love to eat out when I'm pregnant. ;)
Our first meal was chef's salad.

Tonight we had the good ole taco soup. I put sour cream and jalapeños on mine, because you know I'll be up with heartburn anyways..

Tomorrow is Crockpot BBQ chicken sandwiches, and Sunday is Roast with apples.

I'll let y'all know how long I stick with it, ha! I'm gonna try hard!

Tomorrow is my anniversary. My hubby is going hunting. Gotta love em!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

22 weeks

2011-11-29T17:57:00.001-06:00

I'm 22 weeks pregnant!! Yay!!!!!!!
More than halfway done. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself in case I have to have the csection..but if so it will be about 4 weeks early. I'll wait and see what the peri says.;) Today we went shopping for baby stuff and a few maternity items. I got cute new jeans at Old Navy. I needed some maternity skinny jeans so I could wear my boots!

I am worn out!! We went to babies r us and ate lunch at PF changs. We got clothes, diapers, and a carseat. Found this whole pack of socks for $4!!

Here's my belly shot. I had just got home, pulled my hair up and look very nasty. Please excuse that part!

Getting big!!! I am so exhausted, I feel like crashing!!
Just made kids taco salad for dinner, that's their fave.
My husband picked these up AR grocery store..anyone tried them? Hoping they taste like taco bueno chips;)

This was my fave Koolaid as a kid!! Ive been craving it, so I got some and made it with Splenda.

Please don't send my dirty messages about drinking artificial sweetners, either!;) It seriously takes me back to our old kitchen..so good!!

I'll share our baby buys later! I'm about to crash!!;))

Monday

2011-11-28T12:04:00.001-06:00

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I enjoyed the kids being out of school. Getting back into routine is always hard after a few days off, though. Wednesday night we took the kids to the courthouse to see the lights. We have such a pretty courthouse!!

Kids staring at the nativity scene

On Thanksgiving, my mom came over so it was just us this year. My grandparents were traveling. We still had a ton of food!!
{I have a slight obsession with canned cranberry sauce}

On that evening, we went and visited my mother in law and went by my Dads house. I really really wanted to black Friday shop. We dropped kids off at my mother in laws and went to WalMart. It was insane!!
This was the calm before the storm!! Waiting on them to cut open the goods!

Here's our Walmart loot..

Then, I decided Starbucks and Target would be great. So we drove over there and my husband refused to go in the madhouse with me! The lines were crazy! We just picked up kids and headed home. Glad we did anyways because Laiken was burning up with fever when we got there! She has been sick all weekend and running fever and feeling very bad. Almost flulike. I have now not left my house since we got home Thursday night and I've got cabin fever!! Hoping she is well enough to go to school tomorrow. I need out of here!! Planning on doing some shopping tomorrow. We are low on food around here (other than leftovers!) and I'm sick of thanksgiving food! I'm overly picky about what I eat these days and last night I may have cried real tears because I was hungry and we had nothing I wanted to eat...and then I felt terrible because in reality we have a ton of food and so many people would love to have food in their fridge. I think I just am overemotional:) Pregnancy can do that;)
I'm loving the cold weather outside!! Feels like the holidays and I love it! I love bundling up and going out!
Happy Monday!

Thankfuls

2011-11-23T17:37:00.001-06:00

I've seen lots of FB posts and blog posts with daily thanks, but I just decided to wait until Thanksgiving.
1. I'm thankful for my salvation.
2. I'm thankful for my church. I go to a small, southern church. It's the oldest Baptist church west of the Mississippi. Love the sense of family and knowing there's a whole other family there!!
3. I'm thankful for my husband. You know the song "unanswered prayers" by Garth Brooks? That's how I feel. I had my life planned out pretty young and planned on spending my life with someone else. Thankfully God had other plans for me. ;)
4. Thankful for Scotty's health!! He is doing so well and I am so thankful. Spending thanksgiving in a hospital gave me a whole new perspective..
5. thankful for these three blessings I have running around my house. God blessed me abundantly with these amazing kids and sometimes I think I take them for granted. Life is precious.
6. Crazy as it sounds, but I'm thankful that I've experienced pain like from pregnancy loss. I wish it hadn't happened to me twice, but I'm thankful for the compassion, the friends, and the support I've gained. I've gained so much more compassion for others.
7. Im so very thankful that God has given me the opportunity to have a new precious daughter. I can't wait to meet Sawyer Bliss!!!
8. I'm thankful for modern medicine and doctors who care. I love my new OB. I'm also thankful for the medicine side of it, because without it, who knows where Scotty would be?
9. I'm thankful for my parents. I grew up with a great childhood and memories and experiences. I wish divorce had never happened, but I'm thankful for them, their health, and their continued love for me.
10. I'm thankful I grew up with two sets of grandparents. I still have three living grandparents. My grandparents are AMAZING with my kids. They are so helpful.
11. I'm thankful for my Nana Great, my great grandmother. She died when I was 17 but she was amazing and I loved her so much.
12. I'm thankful for the roof over my head.
13. I'm thankful I have a comfy place to sleep and warm covers.
14. I'm thankful for modern things I take for granted..dishwasher, washing machine, hairdryer, etc...
15. My DVR has been life changing.
16. I heart my iPhone. But if I had to live without it, I could;)
17. Makeup, hair straightener, hair products...
18. Thankful I have my sight and hearing. I think we take these things for granted alot..
19. Thankful for the country in which I live.
20. Thankful I was born in the South. Wouldn't change it;)
21. I'm very thankful for college football and the SEC.
22. I love our Razorbacks and I'm so thankful we've made it to #3!! we are football crazy around here!!
23. Thankful for Sonic drinks. Love my vanilla diet cokes, and lately Arnold palmers.
24. Thankful that tomorrow I will have an amazing meal to eat while so many are so hungry.
25. My list could go on for days..

I wish you and all your families the best Thanksgiving ever!!

Much Love,

Monday Randoms

2011-11-21T09:56:00.001-06:00

First, yesterday Razorback nation lost one of it's players. Garrett Uekman died one day after taking the field here in Little Rock, the same field he played on in high school while playing for Catholic High. So sad. Praying for his family. He was so young.

Yesterday our Hogs became #3 in the nation!!!!!!! Woo pig Sooie!!! So proud of the Razorbacks!!!

Last night here in Central Arkansas it started flooding! It rained all night and it is still pouring. Our road in front of my house is starting to really rise. South Arkansas desperately needs rain and we have excess!!

Have you ever wished you could just have one more holiday as a child? I really miss our old traditions and especially Thanksgiving. I'm used to my parents being divorced, but even at my age it still really stinks, especially at holidays. My parents didn't get divorced until I was 18 or 19 so it's been hard to get used to as an adult with kids. OK, enough of that.

I'm really looking forward to eating chicken and dressing but also really not wanting to cook this year! I LOVE to cook, but just not really feeling up to cooking. Just want to eat, ha! We are having a church potluck service on Tuesday so I have to make something for that too.

While watching the Hog game with Laiken on Saturday, Sawyer was going nuts!! Laiken is the first person to have felt her kick and she kicked Laiken's hand hard! Laiken almost cried, it was SO sweet! She said "can we please get her out now?"

My laundry is out of control. Seriously. It is ridiculous. Must get this under control before Thursday!!!

Last night, I got a Facebook message from this girl I know who is pregnant. She was telling me how she was trying to be all name Savvy when naming her baby and what a coincidence because she's going to name her baby Sawyer too....Sawyer for a girl just isn't that common!

I have a prenatal appt tomorrow and I'm so excited!!!

I'm off to brave the rain..gotta get groceries!!

Oh, here are a few pics of Sawyer Bliss. Dont think I shared them yet;)
Her face

Girl!!!

One of her legs

Her arms and hands

Happy Monday!!

Christmas trees and Thanksgiving

2011-11-17T22:02:00.001-06:00

Tonight I got in the Christmas Spirit. I still have alot to do, but I got two trees done.

My little bitty tree;) it's lime green but it won't show up, and I'm too lazy to get my camera out.

Here's my big tree. The ribbon is lime green, but looks gold on the phone camera. Plus I have TERRIBLE lighting in my house.

Its all silver, white, and red with lime ribbon.

I was going to put lime mesh on it, but I may mess with it later. I got so tired.
We got the kids new stockings this year and we went ahead and got miss Sawyer one because hers needed to match.

I'd show the whole mantle, but it's a mess and still needs to be decorated.
I really want to do a brown/peacock tree so I may still find a place to put a small one. Not sure.

This lil boy has his daddy wrapped around his finger. Supposed to be in bed, but here he comes with blanky, monkey, and next thing I know they are both asleep.

Cam has had this blanket for years..since he was a little baby. And still sleeps with monkey. I love that even at 7, he still has a little baby in him;) Guess the tree decorating wore him out!

I love this time of the year! Last year I was so miserable I really want my kids to have the best holiday season ever. The year before Scotty was in the hospital and the kids had no stability. I'm determined to make this year wonderful! We listened to Christmas music and had alot of fun.

I will say this every year, but this time two years ago my husband was literally dying. I thank God every day he is still here. I'm so thankful!! I'm thankful today for modern medicine. Every week he faithfully organizes his medicine and he is so careful about not missing.

After he went to his hematologist on Wednesday;)

Never take your health for granted!;)

20 weeks!!

2011-11-16T22:37:00.001-06:00

What happened to my videos?? Time!! I must try to do a few more..just to have;)

What's been going on...
I'm now 20 weeks, growing huger by the minute. I look like I did when I was 30 weeks pregnant with the others..baby GIRL Sawyer weighed 9 oz at the gender ultrasound last Tuesday. I'm looking forward to the appt with the perinatologist on Dec 20th, because I know I'll get a better ultrasound..I walked away from the last one with lots of pics, but of leg bones and the head, etc..no shots of baby girl face. My tech was a Scrooge.
I've been craving lots of spicy stuff. This was my lunch yesterday:

Boneless wings! Yum! I've also become addicted to pepper sauce..The Texas Pete kind..

I've also had random cravings for apple juice with cheddar crackers to dip into it (I know!)
Fruit, cheeseburgers, fries with homemade ranch, taco bell..
The last two or three days I've thrown up in the morning!! Still!
I always have clear skin. Uh, not so much now. Melasma and a red rash..

I have brown spots and the rash is red. Had it the whole time I was pregnant with Laiken. I got some new makeup today and covered this mess up. I just felt like I needed something different. I got some new primer and darker makeup because I felt ghostlike.

I took a pic of the same cheek. Much better, even though it's a goofy pic, ha!

I was feeling alot more movement last week but now I'm feeling more if im laying down or just ate.

I thought I wanted a yellow and black baby room, but I'm changing my mind. Any opinions on the fabrics? Which would you choose?

These are my top choices.

Right now, I'm very ready for Thanksgiving. Chicken and dressing is calling my name. No, really. I hear it!!! Seriously.

Goodnight, y'all!

Placenta schmenta

2011-11-14T22:04:00.001-06:00

Last week during my ultrasound ( which wasn't as pleasant and happy as I hoped) I knew something was wrong with my placenta after the tech made me drink a gallon of water and had to look at it again. I knew I had previa, not sure the grade but tried to not worry about it.

So, today my sweet Dr. called me herself (that in itself makes me happy) and told me I have a complete previa.

Usually the marginal ones move up, but the completes usually don't..if you have experience with this please share! So with my history and etc, I will now be going to a perinatologist. My first appt. with him is Dec. 20. If the placenta does not move, I will be forced into having a scheduled c-section a few weeks early. I pray it moves up so I avoid bleeding and bedrest etc..the risks of bleeding goes up the farther along I am, and I know how that can be after my pregnancy with Laiken. She told me I should be on pelvic rest and no strenuous activities. I informed her that I had already taken those precautions because of my last pregnancy with Ryan.

All I want is this sweet baby girl to make it here healthy and at the right time. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that happens!!;)

Not sure why I always have placenta problems!! Risk factors include smoking (as if) and cocaine/crack use...(um no!) and I just wonder where they get these statistics..

Anyhow, I'm off to bed!!!

Friday

2011-11-11T16:29:00.001-06:00

My hubby went to the deer camp today. Here in the South we become "deer widows"....
Anyhow, I wanted to get out of the house today so I decided to go hang out with my grandparents. Memaw and I decided to do a little shopping, but my brother called and wanted us all to come eat lunch and sit in his section at Cheddar's. So my grandpa took me and Memaw.

I love Cheddar's and am so glad we got one in Little Rock now. Good food at great prices..my brother is a waiter there. I like the World Class Chicken sandwich with fries and ranch for lunch. I drank three strawberry lemonades! Sawyer liked it;)

After lunch, we ran to Target and picked up a few baby things for Sawyer Bliss!!

I am still in shock I'm having a baby girl!!!

My other lil princess was crying as soon as she got in the car after school. She just cried and cried..after we got home she told me she didn't get a part in the school Christmas play and she was so hoping she did. Her best friend did and she didn't. It's so hard to see your kids so heartbroken, especially when I know it's the first of many heartbreaks for my sweet, sensitive little girl.

And here's a picture of Izzy just because it's cute!!

She is so sweet! So glad Scotty decided we could have her. I may or may not have heard him calling her "daddy's little girl" and "princess"..

Since he's gone this weekend, the kids and I are just going to stay home and watch movies and football until church Sunday;) love relaxing weekends at home!!

Happy weekend!!

Ryan and Sawyer

2011-11-09T09:29:00.001-06:00

Today is Ryan Elizabeth's first birthday in heaven. I remember this particular day last year so clearly..I was so sick and so broken. I feel sad today, but peaceful with the day..Just thinking about her today and everyday. I had a post planned to write, but I think I'll save it for another day.;)

Thank you all so much for the sweet comments about our new baby girl! We are thrilled and so excited to meet Miss Sawyer Bliss!! We can't wait!

It's a........

2011-11-08T19:51:00.001-06:00

Cake before

Cake after!!!!!

Honesty

2011-11-07T19:09:00.001-06:00

As I sit here, on the Eve before my big ultrasound, which is the Eve before Ryan's bday, fear and panic are setting in. I've prayed alot today for peace and comfort from my fears..I've cried.

I know what could happen at any point, and now I'm excited but cautiously optimistic..if that makes sense. It's very bittersweet that I am finding out the sex of this baby the day before Ryan's bday. I can't believe I'm actually pregnant a year later. I know alot of people probably don't understand why I'm still sad and pregnant, but I know alot of you who read this understand.

My fears are not irrational to me, because I know the 101 bad things that can happen. What if I go tomorrow and this baby now who is wiggling is no longer living? Honestly, brutally honestly, I have never been so scared/happy/fearful all rolled into one. I'm an emotional mess. I'm terrified. I want nothing more than to bring home a living, breathing, healthy, baby home. This (being pregnant) after a loss is not easy. Im not sure you are emotionally ready, ever.

I do know I have lots of friends and family praying for me and this baby and for that I am so thankful!

I am very excited to know what this baby is. I want to plan for it's arrival. Im just scared to. But I'm putting both feet in the water and I'm going to. Plan for this baby, despite my fears. I love this lil babe so much already it hurts.

I will let you guys all know the gender as soon as we have our lil family gender reveal party!!

Weekend stuff

2011-11-06T21:19:00.001-06:00

I've written about 4 posts this weekend and I've deleted them. I keep thinking every day since last Thursday that a year ago today that I was in the hospital..it's so surreal. I can't believe I was there so long. Seems like yesterday.

This weekend was a rough one;) I have had more heartburn, nausea, and stomach issues this pregnancy than in my whole life( ok, total exaggeration) but everytime I eat, I'm miserable!!

Saturday I felt OK so I took the kids shopping and out for a fun day but by Saturday night, I was miserable again. My hubby was gone with Caden for the weekend for the youth hunt. Caden did kill his first deer!!

He was so proud!!

Oh, in other news, my dad won a car! Who actually wins cars? Congrats Dad;) I thought it was pretty cool. He won a brand new GMC Terrain.

I wish I would have gone to watch him win it!

This morning before church, I took my picture and realized my stomach is huge.

And after church, I ate one of my favorite meals ever...which in turn made me sick all day!

Little Miss Izzy. She is not as sweet as Bella was, but I still love her! She is a mess! I don't think she weighs a full pound but she is a feisty thing!!

She is so tiny! Why do babies and puppies always look so much bigger in pictures?

I'm off to bed...hope you all had a great weekend!

Izzy

2011-11-03T13:54:00.001-05:00

Meet Izzy.

Yup, that's the puppy I wanted. Thank you, Scotty!

A year ago today, I was admitted to the hospital to deliver a baby I would never get to bring home. I woke up feeling a little sad. More sad that it's been so long than anything else...as time goes by, some of the details get fuzzier...

Anyways, I'm not going to turn this into a sad post, because I just wanted to show off my new lil puppy! She's a bright spot in this day;)

Oh, and how thankful am I that these are back on the shelves? I just ate one and really want another but I'll skip.;)

Sneak peak B&A

2011-11-01T17:29:00.001-05:00

I know this is so bad, but I didn't want to have my face in any picture today!! It is so broke out. So I went from Blonde to dark today and although I've been dark for years, it's a huge adjustment after being blonde for a few months..
Before..

After

I washed my make up off and took a half pic of my face..

I have not had bad skin since I was pregnant with Laiken. They say girls steal your beauty..if this is a little boy, ive been robbed!

That said, I would gain 100 pounds and be sick every day and have the nastiest skin ever if it meant I would have a perfect healthy baby.

Today is November 1st. I cannot believe next Wednesday it will be a year since my baby girl left my body to go to heaven...wow.

And on next Tuesday, I will find out if this babe is a boy or a girl..and I'm thrilled!!! Gender reveal party will be that night and it gives me something to look forward to! Kids are so excited;)

In a second

2011-10-29T09:25:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I was not feeling it and had a headache and felt yucky.

At about 3:45, the kids and I were headed back home (almost there) when I collided with a truck and trailer. I don't even remember what happened. I was just in shock and worried about my kiddos and the sweet baby in my belly.

Where I met with the truck.

The Yukon is gone. It's totaled. It's replaceable, but these babies aren't.

I was worried about the lil one, so we went to the ER because I was worried. My side airbag hit my stomach on the side. The nurse who came to do the doppler asked me if the baby had a normally low heartbeat, and I said no..totally freaked me out. So the Dr. ordered an ultrasound. I hate having them I'm the hospital. They wouldn't let Scotty come with me, and the tech wouldn't let me see my own baby. I kind of felt robbed. She did a 20 min US and I got to see nothing. She told me nothing. It freaked me out a little. She probably knows whether my baby is a boy or girl but she wouldn't tell me. I understand they have rules, but compassion? Geez...

After I got back downstairs, the Dr. came back and said heartrate was 158 and baby was perfect. Wish I could've seen. At least for reassurance. Baby was moving but I was still nervous.

When we left, I needed food fast. And some caffiene. My head felt like it was going to explode. So we got some Taco Bell and I came home and crashed. My head and neck hurt a little bit this morning, just SO thankful we are all OK.

Hair and a recipe

2011-10-28T13:44:00.001-05:00

I have not felt as ugly as I do right now in forever! My face looks like a 15 year olds, my hair is brassy and stringy, and I have melasma. I'm tired of being blonde. Getting my hair colored and cut on Tuesday hoping it makes me feel better;-)

Thinking I need to go back to this color...whatcha think? I really want to get it cut shorter too like it was but hubby says I shouldn't.
I made this for dinner last night and it was good!

Take chicken breasts, season them and wrap them up in ham and cheese (swiss or mozzarella).

Mix up 1 can cream of mushroom, 1 C sour cream, 1/4 C butter, and a can of mushrooms.

Spread on top and bake for 1 hr at 350:-) I think this is good with rice, but we had potatoes at hubby's request.

Kiddos liked it;)

Happy Friday!!!!!!!!

17 weeks

2011-10-27T12:48:00.001-05:00

I guess I should do my official pregnancy post. I feel like all my posts are pregnancy related..oh, well.
How Far: 17 weeks
Size: onion
Weight gain: None!
Sleep: no issues
Best moment this week: Drs appt and listening to HB
Gender: finding out very soon!! Stay tuned
Cravings: salads!!!! My faves are strawberry chicken spinach and Asian chicken.
My lunch today:
Yummy spinach salad to die for!!

Symptoms: have not thrown up in a couple of days, nausea is better, exhaustion is better.. Just sore breasts and peeing alot.
Movement: Yes!!! I love it and can't get enough!
What I'm looking forward to:
Finding out the sex of this precious lil babe!!
Here's me this morning:

Doppler and carnival

2011-10-26T07:46:00.001-05:00

Here's a video of the doppler from yesterday..baby kept moving so it's hard to hear.

YouTube Video

Last night was the kids fall carnival at their school. They had lots of fun and got lots of candy for me to hide from them;)

My Cowgirl Diva

Motocross driver

An unhappy Star Trek character

Cam on right and two of his fave friends..

My darling daughter getting her face painted.

My almost twins;) People do ask if they are twins all the time. They both have the same hair and eye color, and both have freckles.

I'm going to lay on the couch all day and try to get over this sickness!

Happy Wednesday!

The good stuff

2011-10-25T13:07:00.001-05:00

This morning we went to the OB for my appt and it went great! Blood pressure was 118/68 (hallelujah!), urine was clear, and I didn't gain any weight!!! Baby's heartbeat is 148, which last time it was 170ish I believe.

The only bad side is my cold is awful, I'm stuffy, my head is pounding, my nose is runny, I just feel AWFUL! Dr. J told me take cold medicine. The benadryl sure didn't help last night. Didnt even get sleepy..just felt horrible.

I think it may have hit me there is a real live baby in there and there is a great chance that it will be born alive..it's sort of surreal but so exciting! I think Scotty filmed the Doppler, I'll check and I may post the video later.

The big exciting news is that I find out what this baby is on November 8th, which is the day before Ryan's birthday. It will be bittersweet, but I'm so excited!! We are having a gender reveal party that night so I'm soo excited about that!

OK, so someone did guess my name right! Alyssa, you got it right!

If we have another baby girl, her name will be:
SAWYER BLISS
( and I've already read the negative comments online about the name, so if you hate it, shhh)

Happy Tuesday!!!

Just some stuff;)

2011-10-24T21:58:00.001-05:00

I have the yuckiest cold. :( I finally broke down and took Benadryl. I have a really hard time taking medications, even Tylenol. Anyhow. It stinks...

Tomorrow is my prenatal appt, which I am excited about. And also very nervous. I think this time of the year is just hard. Thus time last year I had started having alot of problems with my pregnancy. I just pray alot. Scotty told me my belly was getting big, so obviously everything is growing. ;)
Exhibit A:

My uterus has moved up...

My darling husband asked me if I put self tanner on my face this morning. Um, no sweetheart. That's called melasma. I have red and brown patches all across my cheeks and nose. I was going to post a pic, but I chickened out. Oops!!!
Another thing..my fingers started swelling on Saturday and I used greasy oil to get my engagement ring off but my wedding band was stuck. Not the first time this has happened either. Scotty had to cut it off. It was growing into my finger and was so itchy. No wedding rings for me:( I feel weird without them....

I'm hoping my Dr. will schedule my US for soon because I really cannot wait to find out what this lil babe is. I'm getting impatient!! Plus, it is reassuring to me to see baby;)

I will tell you my girl name tomorrow!! Someone did guess it right!!;)) I'm SHOCKED!!

Good night!!!

Weekend and some more baby namin'

2011-10-23T15:54:00.002-05:00

Yesterday after Cade's football game, we came home and just relaxed. I made homemade vegetable beef soup and corn muffins for dinner..so yummy. I won't eat anyone else's soup except for my own. I think mine's really good..

This morning we went to church and it was my Sunday in the nursery and I only had two babies but geez I forgot how hard it is to have a screaming infant and a screaming one year old at the same time. ;) I survived.

We went to eat and came home to carve pumpkins. I've been putting it off..

Then I made CCC's. My favorite!!!
Nothing better than a hot gooey cookie with some cold milk...

I have been looking through the kids baby pictures and trying to find some to frame. I have sooo many pictures that need to be framed. I just love this one. I put it on my mantle. I don't care that he's almost ten..it's still so precious to me!! This is Cade at 11 months. I was very pregnant with Laiken and I still remember this day we had these pictures made.

I wish I could kiss that sweet baby face one more time!!!!

Ok, I am going to continue with the baby naming game. Please guess, its loads of fun. HA!!! Noone has guessed right! Have you ever googled a potential name you liked and read all the negative comments about it? Well, I researched our girl name and found lots of negative and lots of positives. I am going to post some of them below. I was going to post the first letter, but they may be too easy...so the SECOND letter is A and it is a two syllable name. You can read the post below for more hints. ;)
(I got all these comments off a baby naming site)
POSITIVES:

I think it can go both ways, I absolutely love {name}. I wanted to use it so bad for our daughter, but it didn't work with our last name.

I actually knew a girl named {name} in high school, and I always thought it was pretty.

I think its a very pretty name, it makes me think of an athletic popular girl.

I love {name}. It's really cute. I actually know a girl named {name} so it's not just a boy's name.

I think {name} is a beautiful girl name, but PLEASE don't use it on your sons, it sounds very blah.

{name} would be a really cool name for a girl.

NEGATIVES:
I like this name, but only for boys. Definitely not a girl's name. Might as well name a girl Roger.

The name sounds very pretentious and surname-y, but with its rising popularity, instead of being the name of boys in boarding schools who come from elitist families, this is going to sound more like the name of spoiled *middle class* boys who are obnoxious brats in elementary school, middle school, and high school, and, well, obnoxious frat boys in college. Sigh. I don't like the sound of this name much, and it's better as a surname.

Definitely a BOY name. On a girl it seems to be trying way too hard. I do not understand the boy names on girls trend. Seem like it undoes a lot of the work feminists accomplished, why hide behind a boy name because you think it sounds "strong", feminine names are strong too.

I think girls deserve pretty names. Why in the world would someone name their daughter this? It's a wonderful boys name.

Obviously, the negative comments don't bother me. I still like it. But I truthfully know a few lil boys with this name, and I prefer it for a girl. But that's just me. I like different names...

Ok, that's all for now...more hints later. I may give up the first letter soon if noone guesses right..;) We may not even get to use this name, we may have us a little baby boy but it's still fun for me.

Baby namin (for fun)

2011-10-22T20:45:00.001-05:00

So, I mentioned before our girl name is a boy name. I'll give you some hints, and maybe you can figure it out? If you know me and already know, skip the guessing, haha!
HINTS:
*One Tree Hill
*a Disney movie has a female character that is named this name..it's an animal character.
*Fern Michaels has a novel series and the main female character has this name..
And if it's a girl, her middle name starts with a B and has 5 letters.

Boy:
Help us choose. Or give us another name. Scotty likes Cohen and I like Beckett. I'm loving Beckett Gray. Opinions? We have plenty of time to decide, but it's loads of fun for me. I love baby names.

And just for kicks, I'm totally loving this room:

Happy Saturday to all!!

P.S. Woo Pig Sooie!!!

We're not the Brady bunch.

2011-10-20T15:46:00.001-05:00

Today is parent teacher conferences and so no school for kiddos. We decided to take kids to lunch @ Burger King (blech) for a treat.

If you have a daughter and think she's dramatic, I'm willing to bet ya my 7 year old son can hands down top any girls dramatics. Every day is a struggle with getting dressed. He hates "fat" clothes (baggy) and refuses to wear everything I give him. He would live in athletic shorts all year round if id let him. He screamed while we were getting ready because he wanted to wear shorts and no socks. It was too cold. He never wants to wear socks or underwear. If I do send him to school with them on, they are in his backpack when I pick him up.

Today was a battle. After we all got in the car, I'm thinking we are all nuts. Camden's crying because he hates his socks and they're stupid. Laiken's whining because Cade touched her. Cam takes his shoes and socks off. Daddy pulls over to make him put them back on. I'm burning up. My husband is freezing because he has no circulation in his feet (just a side effect of his illness) and he wants heat on his feet. I'm unsympathetic because I have an internal heater (hormones) making me sweat. Our car rides are rather dramatic.

We managed to have a peaceful lunch at Burger king..did I mention to tell you how much I LOVE BK? Haha..

We went and rewarded our so sweet children (boys) with new not so cheap Under Armour hoodies because Camden really wanted one. And he was SO good this morning he deserved it. Because we are always perfect parents.

We went to our first conference (Cade's) and we are at home waiting to go to Laiken's. We also have football practice tonight. Fun times.

I am not June Cleaver, although today I am wearing a cardigan and pearls. Maybe it makes me look like a more serious mom at conferences. They don't know I yell sometimes at my perfect kids and I have a sinkful of dishes. (wink).

Kids were all asleep in the back and I caught this:

Laiken sleeping on Cade. Even though she says we should send him away on a daily basis. See? They do love each other. Makes my heart skip a beat. Because I wouldn't trade these three for ten million bucks. They're imperfectly perfect.

This house is full of chaos and craziness, but love. June Cleaver wouldn't like it here, but it works for me. Plus I have self-help books like "how to raise kids you want to keep"..;)

Ok, I'm off. Gotta go to another conference. ;)

Bella

2011-10-19T12:42:00.001-05:00

This is a plea to my husband. We lost our sweet Bella almost two years ago.

Isn't she precious? I miss her so much!! She loved me to pieces and I loved her to bits and pieces. Scotty accidentally left the door open and she slipped out while I was at work. She was teeny tiny, about 2.5 lbs. My kids loved her so much too. She was the BEST dog. She never barked, unless it was a stranger and she was always so happy and content.

Here comes my plea:

I really want this sweet girl. Or another one. Please??? ;)))

Weather, baby stuff

2011-10-18T17:58:00.001-05:00

Today was a perfect rainy, overcast, cold, fall day. And I have no umbrella. So I stepped out in style..

What's better than a trash sack aka a plastic turban? I know, right. I may have started a new trend.

I was really really craving back yard burgers chili cheese fries today and so my hubby took me and oh they were soooo good!!

This was like the high here today. I love colder weather!!

Since I haven't done my pregnancy post, here's my fat belly shot!!

I has seriously been rained on and I look awful, but really, who cares??

I bought a baby something today. I figure if I can't use it, I'll give it away. But I pray that I will be able to...;) A friend was selling all her baby (girl) stuff and gave me a great deal on this:

Yes, it's pink. My husband wasn't thrilled with my pink purchases, he insists this is a boy. I mean, because he's the pregnant one and all. But he went along with it...and hey, boys look good in pink. At least I think so!! I also have a sackful of pink baby clothes but I can also give those away easy too lol..

People are asking me my baby names alot now and I told a lady at church our girl name and she said it was awful. But what does she know? (she's really old). If you don't know it, it's a boy name. The boy name is hard bc Scotty and I disagree. But for middle names I like Gray and we may use James, after Scotty's best friend who passed away in March. I like one first name and he likes another. Suggestions are welcome!!! Please?? My girl name is set in stone but feel free to guess IF you don't know it;) Again, It is a boy name.

Im off to prepare a feast for my crew. (really, just spaghetti).

Weather and toes

2011-10-17T22:29:00.001-05:00

I'm really behind on my pregnancy update..I'll probably just do last weeks and this weeks together. I just haven't felt like doing a video;) 16 weeks and still really sick! I am starting to feel a lil squirming in my belly and I love that.

Can I tell y'all how ready I am for fall?? This weekend in Arkansas we set record heat for October. Yuck..I am looking forward to cooler weather!! Today was hot but tomorrow looks like this:

I'm loving this forecast!! I don't even mind the rain tomorrow because we soo need it! Loving highs in the 60's.

Just because Camden is my funniest kid..

This is what happens when you have an older sister who is the lonely only girl. Uses her poor baby brother to bedazzle his piggies.

I am SO proud of Camden. Most of you know we held him back this year in school and today, he brought home his first great report card!! Brought tears to my eyes!!;) I need to do a whole post on Camden-isms soon so I can remember. He keeps me laughing! My poor mother was mortified that I told people he ate his feet. She couldn't believe I told people. He is trying very hard not to do it because his feet hurt..anyways, that's another story..

Happy Monday!

October 15th..Ryan Elizabeth

2011-10-14T20:53:00.001-05:00

It's already upon us...I knew when this day came it would be the month before Ryan's death. 11 months.

I wish I had her in my arms right now, but I don't.

Almost a year ago....
I got a Facebook message yesterday from a friend who asked me about why and how I can talk about something so painful?? My answer is easy. She lived, even if for a moment. How could I not talk about her? Its not something I wish to brush under the rug. She's my daughter.

I will never forget. I'm thankful there is a day where all the moms can come together and celebrate their babies who left too soon. Tomorrow I will be thinking about and praying for all the other affected families, especially the ones I've been so touched by. If you think about it tomorrow, at 7 pm, light a candle for all the sweet babies in heaven. I know I will. I miss my baby.

And if you know someone who has been affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss, tell them tomorrow you are thinking about them. They will appreciate it more than you will know!!
((HUGS))

All over the place randoms

2011-10-13T16:19:00.001-05:00

I've had SO much to blog about, yet very little desire lately. Scotty came home last Thurs. night, so we've been readjusting. I'll just go over some of our happenings.

* Ready for Cadens football to be over with!! It is so time consuming.
*Morning sickness plus migraines has hit me with a vengeance the last few days!! It's been awful!!
*I am so ready to find out what this baby is!! I didn't think I would actually want to buy anything, but I do.
*Saturday we had a great day. Cade had football, then we ate BBQ and played putt putt, then went and saw Courageous with some people from church. It was a great movie, if you haven't seen it, you should;)
*Camden William is still eating his hands and feet, I don't know what to do!! It's so embarrassing!!
His finger:

His feet are awful. He is the sweetest kid, but he's awful quirky. I could do a whole post on this childs weirdness!! He refuses to wear socks or underwear and if I make him wear them to school he takes them off in the bathroom. I'm soliciting parenting advice, people. Advice?
*Not sure if I told y'all or not, but Laiken got her finger smashed in my Memaws Suburban door, and broke it. She's done with softball till Spring. It was two weeks ago and it still looks pitiful!!
It's the middle one, see how blue it is??

*This has been on my mind alot:

October 15th is right around the corner.
*Bow season has started in Arkansas and my hubby does alot of this:

Thankful he hunts right in our backyard!!
*I really really want a swimming pool. I'm trying to talk hubby into it. Pretty please?? I think it's going to be hard to go anywhere next summer by myself with a baby and 3 kids so a pool would be GREAT!!!
*I have sooo many people in my prayers lately. So many sick friends..it hurts my heart!! I know 3 people my age who live in my town who have all been recently diagnosed with cancer.
*my older two are really growing up. Laiken came into my room while I was napping on Sunday and stuck her fingers in my face and told me to smell..I gagging, asked her what it was and she told me her armpits. Disgusting, right? We promptly went to Walmart the next day and she is now using Degree for girls.;) yay for deodorant!!LOL..
*I'll try to do a pregnancy 15 wk update tomm;)

Weekly update and vlog

2011-10-06T10:52:00.001-05:00

Ok, so this video was made yesterday. But I had to go to the Dr. for some EXTREME pain I was having. Turns out I had a ruptured ovarian cyst. It hurt like heck!!! I was just worried something was wrong, and baby wasn't ok, but all is well. I caved and took Tylenol last night. (I do not like medicine). The dr. gave me a RX for pain meds, but I feel 100% better today. Yay!!! Anyways so here is my weekly video. I was feeling very bad when I did this.;)

YouTube Video

Hope everyone has a terrific Thursday!!

This roller coaster

2011-10-02T22:26:00.001-05:00

Before church this morning. I heart them. This was the most beautiful day.

A before church belly shot.

I have a few things I want to blog about, since this is October and Oct 15th is right around the corner. It's all bittersweet to me. I can remember October 15th last year and being so happy to have another chance to be pregnant again and had NO idea what November held for me. I had no idea one year later I'd have buried my daughter and been pregnant again.
Being pregnant after a loss is hard. It's not a replacement for the child you lost. It's an emotional roller coaster filled with anxiety, glimpses of hope, fear, the unknown. It adds to your grief process. It's happy and scary. It's being robbed of your innocence. The only way I get through this is faith. I know my God is the same as He was before and I stand on His promises.
I've made friends in the blog world and online support groups which is crazy to me, but some of these women I've met are some of the strongest, most amazing women ever. I know if I have a bad day there is someone out there who understands. I'm so thankful. I pray daily for other moms out there who are going through this.
I've come to realize not everyone will understand how I feel, and I'm ok with that.
This baby growing inside of me is such a blessing. I take it day by day. I've not felt such joy as I have in a long time as I did on Friday. Seeing the miracle of life, my child, growing inside of me almost took the breath out of me. It's different now. I don't take it for granted. Those tiny arms and legs, that beautiful beating heart, is a miracle.
At the end of every chaotic crazy day of my life, I can go to sleep knowing I'm blessed. I'm blessed for so many reasons and thankful. It's easy to be angry, but I'm passed anger. This last year has been hard. I've been carried by His grace. I've cried. I've screamed. I've probably thrown something. I've come to learn grief is a roller coaster...I'm sorry I'm all over the place with this..
I just want everyone to know no matter how hard this has been and is for me, I still feel blessed and I'm still thankful. And I cannot wait to meet my baby. What a day that will be!!!

*On another note, someone is coming home Thursday;)

Saturday Stuff

2011-10-01T20:14:00.001-05:00

Today is October 1st. October is National pregnancy and infant loss month. 1 in 4 women will experience some form of loss.

Please remember all the moms and babies in your thoughts and prayers this month..

Today Caden had a football game and the lil Razorbacks lost by 1 point. I sure thought the big boys were about to lose it to the Aggies but the Hogs decided to wake up and fight!! And the Razorbacks pulled off a win! Woo pig Sooie!! I'm still SO happy!

Can you believe I got my first sunburn in forever today?

Tonight Laiken wanted her fave thing, a bacon and blue dog from Sonic..I think it's yuck!!

Somehow lettuce, tomatoes, bacon, and blue cheese sound yuck on a hot dog to me. Or maybe it's just me..but I took the kids to Sonic and now we are just chilling at home watching TV.

I have been researching cloth diapers and am really wanting to cloth diaper. I follow alot of cloth diapering mamas on YT. Do any of you guys cloth diaper? I'm thinking about ordering some newborn all in ones..

Right now, I am missing my husband SO much. It's so hard to be away from him for so long..I try to remember a the women who have husbands overseas to help me, but gosh it's hard sometimes!!

I'm about to watch Bridesmaids for the first time! Hopefully it's as good as I've heard it is!! Happy Saturday night!!!

Hello world!

2011-09-30T10:15:00.001-05:00

Hello world!!! It's nice to meet you!

This is me waving at you!!

My mommy is really really silly and she was up all night praying that I was ok. I tried to kick her to let her know im ok in here but she was still scared!

This morning my mommy went to a place where a lady pushed on mommy's tummy alot and I realized I was on camera so I decided to put a show on for my mommy because I knew she had lots of anxiety. I flipped, kicked, waved, stretched and I heard my mommy cry. Even the lady cried because mommy was crying. They were so silly. I wish my daddy was there, but I'll put on a good show for him next time. My heartbeat is in the 160's and I'm perfectly happy and healthy in my mommy's tummy. I'll come out in the springtime after the yucky cold winter and meet everyone!

Until next time!! Pray for my mommy!! She's a lot silly;)

Oh, and today is my Grammy's birthday!! I can't wait to meet her!!!

She's really pretty!!

Pregnancy vlog #4

2011-09-29T10:17:00.001-05:00

YouTube Video

Wednesday stuff

2011-09-28T09:06:00.001-05:00

Hello!!! I just took a few days off from blogging..no, nothings wrong! Just needed a break;) Sometimes the Internet and social media can just overwhelm ya!!

I went to my new OB yesterday and I really liked her. She probably thinks I'm a nutcase with all of my anxieties, although she assured me she didn't think I was crazy, LOL. I'll try and do my vlog today or tomorrow. I'm just really having lots of anxieties. The thought of me having a real, live, breathing baby seems like it's not real...

Today I am cooking for our Wednesday night service at church. Poor people, Ha!! I decided to make something easy and I'm doing spaghetti but it's a heck of a lot of spaghetti and sauce to cook. I sure hope I bought enough. I'm about to start making the sauce and cooking the 8 pounds of meat..I'll let you guys know how that goes.

And just because she's so sweet..

I love her!!!!!

A day in the life

2011-09-23T08:29:00.003-05:00

5:35 alarm goes off. I hit snooze. About ten times;) I got up around 6:20. Woke kids up, got their clothes laid out, they got dressed, brushed teeth, and Laiken washed her hair so I dried it. Wash my face and throw on ugly sweats. Feed kids sausage biscuits and we are about ready to go. If I know I have nowhere to go that day, I'll skip my shower until I get home. And hope noone sees me. I am quite scary.

7:34..we are in the Yukon ready to go.
7:55 drop kids off at school
Sitting in drop off line.

8:15 back home ready to tackle my boring day.

Kids leave the family room a mess so I clean it and change my sheets. Woo Hoo, it's Friday!!
8:30...

I'm tackling the laundry. It's rather pitiful and embarrassing. My life ain't glamorous!!!!! The reason clothes are everywhere is because a certain child was looking for something and made a mess!!
9:00..

Gotta do the yucky dishes from last night. All while trying not to gag.

9:30-10:30 laid on the couch bc I had severe nausea. :( got really hungry at about 10:40 and cooked this:

Sat down on couch at about

To eat and watch TV. This is what I do when kids are at school...nice to relax in front of the TV.
11:30-12 I played on the computer and read blogs, checked Facebook, etc...
(this is the most boring uneventful day) it's almost embarrassing, ha!
12:00-1:00 I cleaned my bathroom bc it seriously needed it. Scotty called after that and I talked to him for about 30 minutes.
1:30 shower time! Gotta leave to kids at 3:00...please note:I generally shower way before this!!! I usually am a LITTLE more productive;) just felt like staying home today and relaxing!
1:45..get dressed and put makeup on
2:00 dry hair/straighten hair while jamming to Pandora radio
2:25 pay bills
2:45
Read all the patient info for my new Dr. I got in the mail.

3:00 leave house
3:20
Sitting in the too long pick up line..

3:35 kids get in car..Cades math and science teacher came out to tell me about his bad behavior. This is a whole another post, but he is really struggling with schoolwork and behavior and I'm SOOO stressed about it.
4:00 We get home and kids have to clean their rooms. I don't do it for them (sorry mom!!) she always cleaned my room and can't figure out why I don't clean my kids rooms. I did until they were in school, but they are plenty big..
The princess' room looks like a serious mess!!

4:30 snack time--kids have hot pockets, I have a pear and cheese. I LOVE fresh pears!!

5:15 We leave house to go to football practice.

We get there about 5:35.
I live way way far out. I hate the drive.
6-740 practice

On my way to the grocery store to pee. After sitting at practice that long my bladder can't take it. It's about to burst. It hurts. I may or may not have almost or maybe peed in my pants a little. And that asparagus I ate for lunch? Well, it's making my pee smell very bad!!

Ahhh, relief!! Now I have to get gas!!!

It's now about 8 and I don't feel like cooking dinner. Fast food, here we come!! I loathe McDonalds but it seriously sounded good..

I miss my hubby:(
We got home @

And now kids are showering and I'm about to wash my face and put my hair up and snuggle up on my couch and watch 20/20. It's about you tubers;)
Tomorrow Cade has a game and the big Arkansas game is on but we get to sleep late bc Laikens softball got cancelled. Woo Hoo!!!

This was probably the longest post ever!!! And the most boring day ever. It was all for you, Hillary!!! I'll do this again after I have baby and see how boring it is, Ha!! Goodnight!!!!

Just a random post

2011-09-22T16:26:00.001-05:00

This morning, I took kids to school and went to go get my hair highlighted.
My friend Lauren doing my hair..dont ya just love the flash in mirror?

We went to lunch after that at a new diner and it was all homecooked stuff. I should have taken a picture of my plate. I got chicken strips, mashed potatoes, and skillet corn. I LOVE mashed potatoes and corn mixed together. Lauren got a yummy BLT and onion rings.

After we ate, I came home and laid on the couch and watched some DVR'd shows. I watched the Biggest Loser. I'm rooting for Becky because she's from my town! It made me cry. Yes, seriously. I have no time for TV anymore bc of the kids night schedule. Thank goodness for DVR!!

Today was overcast but soo nice and about 70. I took these pics on the way to get kids.

This side of the road is still all green.

But across the street, its turning fall like.

And to my Alabama friends, don't be mad at me. BUT, I have to share!!!

Woo Pig Sooie!!!!!!!!!!!! This weekend is the big AR vs. Bama in Tuscaloosa. So excited!!!!

This was such a random post. Right now, it just started storming and I'm praying for lightening. I hear lots of thunder...Cade has football practice and they play in the rain..unless it's lightening. C'mon lightening!!!!!!! I'm tired and wanna stay home!!

Vlog and 'nanner puddin

2011-09-21T13:09:00.001-05:00

I decided I must have banana pudding today!!! I'm in heaven, so yummy!!! I'm eating it right now;)

Here is my ever so boring vlog this week.

YouTube Video

Happy Wednesday!!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

2011-09-21T10:45:00.002-05:00

Can I say I am still sad that only a few people entered my giveaway?? But, I guess it gave you a better chance to win if you entered!! Anyhow, I used Random.org to find the winner.

The numbers generated by this widget come from RANDOM.ORG's true random number generator.

The winner is The Mama @ The Everyday Stories of a Price and a Princess!!!

Yay!! I will get with you later and give you instructions from My Memories on how to claim your prize!!

Laikens tooth

2011-09-20T21:27:00.001-05:00

Can I just tell you it's been a LONG day and I'm TOO tired to blog about it?? I did want to share this, though. Laiken has had a loose tooth up top forever that is next to a permanent tooth. It looked so silly, it was sticking straight out and she refused to pull it. My mom took her for a Mani and Pedi tonight and talked Laiken into letting her pull it. She came home and I just found this note with the tooth under her pillow.

This part is sideways..oops!! Too tired to fix it!!

She saves her money for offering at church, I just thought this was such a sweet lil note!! Good night!!

Weekend.

2011-09-18T15:36:00.001-05:00

Friday night it poured rain and was chilly and all I wanted to do was pick up kids, get pizza, and watch a movie. But Cade had football practice, even in the rain. Yuck! After we picked up pizza and we all fell asleep early. I woke up at about 12 with a stomachache and night sweats. I felt awful. I guess it stressed me out, bc I broke out in the worst hives ever. They were in my nose, mouth, ears, EVERYWHERE! I had no benadryl, so I had to tough it out.

It.was.miserable. I took two showers and got NO sleep.

Laiken had to be at the ballpark for a tournament at 8. Needless to say, I was exhausted. She played three games and in between I had to get Cade ready for his football game. It was a chaotic day...after it was all over, I dropped Laiken off at a sleepover and the boys and I crashed!
Laiken up to bat!

I took this pic yesterday for Scotty, but my belly is getting big. Ignore the flash in the mirror.;)

This morning, we got up and got ready for church. It was pouring rain and I easily could have stayed in bed, but I knew I wouldn't. I love going to church. I love that I get to go, and I don't "have to go". ;) We usually go out to eat after church, but today we just got KFC and went to my grandparents. Kind of nice not fighting the crowds. When I got home, I decided to get some of my fall stuff out..

My scarecrow has a girlfriend, but she's broke, ha!

I love fall colors and smells!!! I hopefully will get everything done this week.

I'm sad because only three people entered my giveaway below!! If you didn't, go enter!!! Pretty please??

A fun giveaway!!

2011-09-16T11:05:00.009-05:00

A few weeks ago, I won some digital scrapbooking software on Tiffany's blog. It's really easy and fun to use. I made this cute fall page in under 5 minutes. Super easy.

How about one for a lil diva?

Aren't they cuuute? Well, guess what!! I have been asked by My Memories to host a giveaway on my blog!! I am giving away the My Memories Suite software!! Whoop, Whoop! That's a $40 value folks! All you have to do is leave a comment and tell me what your favorite layout is after you visit their website, and tell me why you want to win!! You get one entry for leaving me a comment, another for being a blog follower, a third entry for following them on their FACEBOOK, and another for following their BLOG!! That's four chances to win this amazing digital scrapbooking kit!!

So go visit their WEBSITE, and come back and tell me what layout you like the best, and why you want to win! Easy Peasy!!

And, as a special for you guys I have been given a promo code that provides a $10 discount off the purchase of the My Memories Suite Scrapbook software and a $10 coupon for the My Memories Store! That's a $20 value! Go HERE and use the code STMMMS54326 to get your discount!

Winner will be announced next Wednesday!! Ready, Set, Enter!!

Pregnancy vlog #2

2011-09-14T11:53:00.001-05:00

I'm almost too embarassed to post this video, but I said I would do it every week so I'm trying to keep my word. Just please excuse the fact I'm laying down and have terrible hair.

YouTube Video

Activities, intelligender, and homework

2011-09-13T19:42:00.001-05:00

Good gravy, last night was busy. All 3 of my kids had activities at the same time. Its so hard with Scotty not home. Cade had a football game, Laiken had softball practice and Camden had his first night of cub scouts. My mom took Camden. Is this not the cutest kid you've ever seen??

He must've gotten really worn out, 'cuz my mom texted me this:

My kids did not get into bed till 11 last night, and they were beyond exhausted this morning. Cade's game didn't start till 8 last night and I just think it is waay too late for a school night.

I went back to bed after I took kids to school;)

This morning, I decided to do this:

Just because. And I could care less about the gender of my baby..but I thought this could be fun. So my results were funny. They were orange (girl) on top but there was green sediment on bottom. I contacted them via FB and they said I should go by the top layer results.

We shall see!!!!!!

Gotta go help Laiken with her homework, she's having math and geometry issues. She's 8. Here's one of her worksheets:

I don't mind helping her, it's my job;) But, I think sometimes homework she gets is just a little too hard. Maybe it's just me! Who knows?

Good night!!

Sweet November

2011-09-12T09:00:00.001-05:00

It's been 10 months today, since this day..

I wonder what she would look like now, what she'd be doing, and I am missing out on kissing her sweet face, feeding her, rocking her, watching her grow..it's bittersweet.

I'm thankful for this life growing inside of me now, and I pray every day that his or her heart keeps beating. I saw a glimpse of hope on that big ultrasound screen in a tiny flicker of such a big strong heartbeat. It doesn't take away from my pain, but it is hope.

I'm trying to look forward to November this year, to celebrate Ryan's birthday in heaven, and to celebrate Scotty being here.

This was in November 2009, and he was fighting to stay alive. Watching your husband suffer and almost die is like nothing I can ever explain. It's heartwrenching when a dr. looks in your eyes and tells you they are out of ideas, and they don't think he's going to make it. Watching him with a 105 fever for days on a ventilator fighting so hard to wake up. Spending a month without our children, planning his funeral in my mind, how I'm going to tell my kids their dad is gone, how I'm going to survive...but he survived. He made it. I can never tell you how thankful I am.

I'm looking forward to this November, so much to be thankful for and what better month to be so thankful?? The weather will be perfect and spending time with family..I've learned so much these past two years. I have hope because I have faith. I have faith because I trust in God always. He is still the same now as He was before. He carries my burdens and His grace carries me every single day.

I think I'm ready for Sweet November...

Go Hogs Go

2011-09-10T16:19:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, my hubby sent me this. It's NYC across the bridge. I'm jealous he gets to travel..

Today is all about the Hogs! The little ones and the big ones!!
Cade is a razorback, and the kids and I had to be at the football field bright and early for pictures and he had two games.

After playing two games...

He's getting SO big!!!!! Camden looked so cute in his new jersey, but I couldn't catch him to take a picture! He never sits still!

It was HOT today. I thought it was going to be cooler and I wore black yoga pants. Yuck. Im ready for the night games. With the cool, crisp, fall air. I like oversized hoodies and hot chocolate.;)

What I'm really ready for... is for tonights game!! C'mon..you know you wanna say it with me....Woo Pig Sooie..Razorbacks!! Who are you cheering for today? I just love the south during football season!!

Cheap makeup and a bump

2011-09-08T16:20:00.001-05:00

Today I went to Sakura for lunch with my friend Jennifer. Yummy! Since I can't eat sushi, I got steak and fried rice. It's right next to Target, so after we ate, I had time to kill before I got the kids so I ran over to Target.

I met a girl named Ashley (ha) on the makeup aisle and she loves makeup just as much as me! We exchanged our faves, and she is obsessed with YouTube how to beauty videos as well. Anyhow, I love elf brushes. You cannot beat $1. Plus all their makeup is either $1 or $3. So I got a few new things today!

I heart makeup!!! Got lots of golds, I love gold for the fall.

Here's my ten week bump.

I have prayed all day to keep this baby. Another girl from church just lost her baby and I believe she was ten weeks too. I appreciate all of your prayers and support!!;)

Happy Thursday! Another day closer to the weekend, and closer to another Razorback game!!!

Pregnancy vlog#1 week 10

2011-09-07T14:22:00.001-05:00

Hey! Just thought I would start doing weekly vlogs instead of just blogging the highlights!!

YouTube Video

Thanks for watching!!
Oh, and after talking about my weight...I made this:

It's one of those fundraiser Butter Braids, and they are so yummy. Haven't ate any yet, though!!
Happy Wednesday!

Quick update

2011-09-06T21:49:00.001-05:00

Well, I've been MIA because I've been busy with kids and sports, lots of football practice with Cade, and getting ready for Scotty to leave.:(

Watching his last football practice of the season. This morning he left for maryland, but on the way he got called to go to North Jersey. He is staying about 25 miles from NYC. Kinda jealous..and so very sad he's gone. :(((((((((( I've got alot to juggle on my own.

Tonight, I went to football practice alone:( Well, with Cade.

The boys of fall..

Love watching my boy play.

Wouldn't you know as soon as Scotty leaves my Yukon gets issues?? It's gotta go in the shop now.

Scotty knew I hated the android he made me trade my iPhone for, so I'm now the proud owner of a new iPhone 4. Glad to be back!!!!

And just for the record, I'm not complaining bc Scotty is gone. It means he is healthy and in remission and he has a job, and the kids and I have food on the table. It's just hard being away for so long.

I am about ten weeks pregnant and will start doing pregnancy posts soon. Just for my own benefit;)

just a lil Friday ramblin'

2011-09-02T22:44:00.001-05:00

I thought I might try and redeem my sweet lil girl. After that last picture of her, that is. It was slightly pitiful. Poor girl. This picture was taken last Thursday, the day before she fell. It's been a week today and already looking better.

Today was our county's big rivalry football game. Go Hornets! It has always been a huuuge deal around here. There were like 30,000 people there this year and the game takes place at War Memorial, where the Hogs play when they play in Little Rock. We skipped this year bc I just don't feel too good. I'm getting kind of sad we stayed home now after I'm seeing all the fun FB posts.

Tomorrow is the day we've all been waiting for....drumroll, please!!!! The first game of the Arkansas Razorbacks football season! Woo hoo!!! Wish I was headed to Fay to watch in person, but instead I'm watching on PPV. The Hogs will whoop Missouri State. Oh, how I love this time of year...

I'm loving watching my own son play football and dreaming of him someday playing for the Razorbacks..(or the Hornets, ha). I'm so ready for 60 degree football nights and hot chocolate and hoodies..and all the other things about fall most of us love...

It is bittersweet as last year at this time I was pregnant and dreaming about my sweet baby and planning. And it really is bittersweet. I ache for her, but am so happy that I have this baby. I'm having a hard time. It's just so emotional..

Anyways..have a great holiday weekend! And Woo Pig Sooie!!!!!!

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laiken and baby

2011-08-30T16:23:00.001-05:00

Isn't this a pitiful picture? See nose, knee, and elbow..:( Laiken got pushed down while running at the park Friday night. She was so hysterical..it hurt me so bad to see her like that. She is just so precious, and I'm so proud of her. Last week, she was saved and this next week she is going to be baptized. I'm just so blessed and happy for her!

I still feel pretty bad. Nausea, dizziness, tiredness and a blah feeling. BUT this sweet life inside of me is growing, and has a strong heartbeat and everything looks perfect. There are no clots or anything abnormal. Sooo thankful. The Dr. said everything looks great. But I know that doesn't mean much..my BP is fine, it was high when I got to the clinic but when I left it was 110/70. I check it at home and its been fine. We have chalked it up to white coat syndrome and me being very very nervous and anxious. I can't explain how I feel...

I can say I just won't relax or stop being anxious or nervous until I have a baby in my arms. The blogging community has been a great help, because I have followed several moms who have had babies after their losses or who are pregnant. It's been comforting to read about real people, real moms who know how I feel.

Well, its off to football practice we go!

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update

2011-08-28T23:14:00.001-05:00

I'm bringing to you another boring blog post from my phone. Hopefully soon I will have more substantial things to blog about.;) I am going to the Dr. tomorrow so please pray!

I just realized after reading my last blog post it wasn't very clear..or maybe confusing. My pap at my post partum was abnormal and they never notified me..so I asked at my first prenatal..and she said no, it was abnormal, let's repeat it. So the results I got by certified mail were from this month. It looks like it may be precancerous cells and they want me to have a biopsy which I am refusing. They are not scraping, punching, or whatever it is they do on my cervix. I'm not very happy with them. Had they told me after the first one, I could have had testing and dealt with it. Now I'm pregnant and I'm not taking risks to my baby. I would prefer to not have brochures sent to my house about cervical cancer, and etc..I would much rather the nurse call me or discuss this at my next appt. Now my anxiety is through the roof and I'm very nervous...

I'll update tomorrow, please pray!;)

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Friday

2011-08-26T08:01:00.001-05:00

My sickness is somewhat better, but still pretty miserable. You never forget what this is like, and you only can eat what sounds good to you right then, otherwise your world will fall apart. I do remember being so sick with Laiken and Scotty and I lived in a little tiny kinda musty house. I laid on a hard futon all day everyday because I was too sick to move. Lots of ER trips and phenergan. I made it through...so I know this too, shall pass.

I have sooooo many fears about being pregnant and I wish I was that young naive girl again. I run to the bathroom a gazillion times a day to check for blood. Every cramp I have is something bad..I do get crampy. Probably my oversized uterus stretching..This seems like a dream. Although I have read over and over that subsequent pregnancies after loss are like, this..maybe I still thought it was going to be rainbows and butterflies? I'm very excited for my ultrasound on Monday. Scotty is going with me, and he missed everyone when I was pregnant with Ryan E., because he was in Ohio working. That's another thing..with this hurricane coming and most likely making landfall, he will probably go to work in the northeast. I dread that..I was looking forward to him being here and helping with the kids, its hard to juggle this chaotic life alone.

So, I'm not even sure how to get to this..but in December I had a pap at my post partum. Noone called, so I assumed normal. No letter in the mail. Nothing. I found out 9 months later at my first prenatal appt. Yesterday, I got a certified letter with words like "abnormal" "precancerous" "biopsy"... I realized they scheduled me a biopsy and so I called and cancelled. I refuse to let them mess with my cervix and make me bleed. Or worse. I'm terrified, cercival cancer scares me but my baby comes first right now...I have more crazy irrational fears about this but I just have to put this in God's hands..its in His hands anyways..

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Yuck

2011-08-24T07:59:00.001-05:00

Here's a public service announcement:
Morning sickness is AWFUL!! I have full blown 24 hour sickness and vomiting and I can barely walk..its horrible. I called the Dr. yesterday and for some reason they don't want to call me in any zofran. They suggested I take vit b6 with unisom, which is a sleeping pill and I feel drugged. And its supposed to help, but it doesn't. At all. Everything I eat comes back up, nothing sounds good, smells are making it worse, and it is just.awful.
If you have any suggestions, let me know. I'm miserable!

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Totally Random

2011-08-22T14:42:00.003-05:00

These are just totally random thoughts.

*I am disabling anonymous comments. I am so tired of seeing spam.
*It is the 6th day of school, and Laiken is home sick. ALREADY.
*I have two different email accounts associated with this blog, and I have had some emails and comment replies that I just saw because they went to an email I rarely check. So if you think I am ignoring you, I am not!;)
*I am very very very sick today. Yucky morning sickness..I refuse to complain because I am so thankful.
*I think my diet plan is out the window until I get over morning sickness.
*I am still in SHOCK that I am pregnant and I am almost scared to talk about it, in fear that something bad will happen.
*I want to start buying cloth diapers now, so I can have a stockpile when baby comes home, but I am scared to spend the money on them...
*I really want an ice cream pie. The kind you dump the ice cream into the crust, and pour magic shell on top...I see a trip to Harp's after I pick up my kids from school..
*I have literally laid on the couch all day. I feel so lazy. I still have boxes that need to be unpacked.
*My husband probably thinks I am the laziest person alive, LOL.
*My husband came home from his stint in NWA on Friday! I am so glad to have him home. It's nice to have the help..
*However, he is getting ready for deer season and I probably won't be seeing much of him anyways...
*Laiken is playing fall softball like always and Cade is playing tackle football again. I don't feel like I can juggle anything for Camden. This kind of makes me feel like a bad mom! He never gets to do anything...
*I got a digital BP cuff bc I was having a hard time trying to check my BP with the regular cuff and my stethoscope myself and my BP is doing a little better. So glad for that.
*Ok, I am off..gotta go get the boys from school...then I am coming back home and parking my booty back on the couch.

Wednesday night

2011-08-18T13:02:00.006-05:00

Last night, we celebrated my Memaw's birthday. I won't tell you her age, because she might not like that. :-) But doesn't she look great for seventy something? My grandpa is still feeling tired and run down since his aortic valve transplant. It's hard on him to feel so bad, because he doesn't like to sit, and is a busybody. It was nice to go to dinner with my family. Kids ate free last night, so that was a BIG bonus. Cha-Ching!

My kids with my Memaw (Not the best picture)

Tonight, I am going to watch this, despite the bad reviews.

I loved these books! The movie will probably disappoint, though.

Tonight, I am going to dinner with my Dad and his wife. We are going to eat Italian since he was out of town on Camden's birthday...

Speaking of Camden, he is back to eating his feet off. Sigh. Yesterday he got in the car and I asked him what he learned at school. He said "I learned about love..Im in love with a girl she's all mine and you can't stop me or do anything about it.." Then he said "When she smiles at me it makes me smile and she flips her long blonde hair in my face and I like it." Sigh. I sent him to school today in this shirt and told him to stay away from girls!

Ya'll, this child is a MESS!! He said when he got out of the car this morning "I cant wait to go see my girlfriend! Bye!"

Wanna eat lunch with me?

2011-08-17T12:28:00.003-05:00

Today for lunch I had a tuna salad sandwich with tomato, romaine, swiss and a side of cucumbers.
Here's my plate:

I WILL.NOT. eat tuna in a restaurant or from a church potluck, but I do like it when I make it. I use a hardboiled egg, some diced apple, and diced bread and butter pickles. I use about a TBSP of fat free mayo.
Cucumbers...I have had two people ask me about those and I literally eat them almost every day in the summer. I slice them with the skin on and put them in a large bowl with a lid. I mix up(APPROX) you can adjust to your own taste 1/4 cup veg oil, 1/2 C vinegar, and you can either use Splenda or real sugar, to taste. I use splenda and it's ususally about 3TBSP. I pour this over my cucmbers and add tomatoes and if you wish, purple onion. The thought of onion makes me gag right now so I didn't do that on my last batch. Another way my mom makes it, and I do sometimes is instead of the veg oil, use lowfat mayo or miracle whip. Let sit in the fridge for at least 4-6 hours before you eat them!!

I think I am going to try the DASH diet if it's OK with my doctors. I don't see why it wouldn't be. It is supposed to cut down hypertension and mine is HIGH. I am just beginning to feel a little morning sickness, so I am scared once it comes on full force the last thing I will want to eat is healthy fruits and veggies...I am just trying to eat every few hours.

Tonight is my Memaw's birthday! We are going to dinner at a steak place. Steak is my favorite food. How can I resist getting a fatty salty steak? I have been thinking about this all day. Do I order a small steak or do I get chicken? This is literally consuming my thoughts!! It's easy for me to say I won't get steak, but then when I have to order, I get this moment of weakness and order steak. Sigh. I'll let you know what I eat!:-)

I promised Camden a new toy or video game if he could stop chewing the skin off his feet. I have nibbled at my nails my whole life and so I get it, but just never literally tore the skin off my feet with my teeth..He said he will try really hard to keep socks on and not take them off. When I got him out of bed this morning, he still had socks on...let's hope it lasts!!!

Food, Bedroom, Feet

2011-08-16T14:51:00.010-05:00

So, at the Dr. yesterday, I learned I needed to cut out sugar and high fats and fried foods and anything else you want to eat when you are pregnant. I found this at Walmart yesterday.

I used jumbo romaine leaves to serve it in and it was really yummy. Laiken even liked it. I am not one for frozen meals, I think they are usually nasty, but this was good. 80 calories per lettuce wrap. I had two with fresh pineapple. This morning for breakfast, I had whole wheat toast with an egg white and turkey bacon.

Does anyone else have any ideas for healthy family friendly meals? Or healthy things you ate when you were pregnant? If you have any recipe suggestions, send them my way!

I thought I'd do a tour of my bedroom. I have been scouting out black and yellow bedrooms on Pinterest and I really wanted to go with the mustardy yellow/black family since we have black furniture.

See my new fan? I love it. It doesn't put off much light, but I like it dark in there.

This is the dresser and my nightstand.

This is my media stand.

Maybe this is a not so dark picture?

I am still not done in there, I am looking for new nightstand lamps. I had some gorgeous ones that I sold when I sold our last bedroom suite and I am on the hunt for some new ones. And I have some black and white art to hang.

I found this sign at Wal-Mart on a clearance aisle and bought it. I think it's so perfect for our family;-) You can see it when you walk in the front door.

I also found this one I love at Gordman's.

I have an issue with Camden and it's pretty gross. If you have a weak stomach, stop reading. I used to bite my toenails when I was little. Camden has done it since he was a baby too. Over the last year or so, it has progressed into eating the skin off his feet and lately his hands. He lays in his bed with the covers over his head with his foot shoved in his mouth. He has gnawed all the skin off the bottom of his feet. He also bites all the skin off his index fingers. It's kinda embarassing, not to mention painful. I wonder if anyone knows anyone else who has ever done this? He told me he tries not to do it, but it's so hard to stop. It just kind of worries me....

Anyhow, off to cook dinner! Happy Tuesday!

First day of School and my Dr. Appt..

2011-08-15T16:34:00.003-05:00

This was first day of school last year.

And this was this morning..these pics are not good because they were taken with my phone.

I had to drop them off at 7:30 because I had to be at the Dr. in Little Rock by 8:30 and I gave myself time to go inside with them and for traffic. They could care less if I kiss them goodbye on the first day anymore. They are too old for that:( Camden in is first grade for the second time, and Laiken is in 3rd, and Cade is in 4th. They had great days and they have not stop talking since we got in the car. They were starving and so I offered to cook them dinner and all they wanted was hot dogs and grapes. Yummy;)

So I rushed to Little Rock, got stuck in a wreck, made it there right on time and waited for 35 minutes to be called back. Once I got called back and did the whole hoorah, the nurse told me my BP was 156/102 :(( I have never had high BP unless it has been in late pregnancy and I did have high BP when was pregnant with Ryan. Anyhow, the Dr. came and spent alot of time with me. In December when I had labs and my pap at the post partum check up, my glucose was really high. So they made me do a one hour glucose tolerance test and that orange stuff made me queasy. So then I had to have another pap because my last one had abnormal cells and they FORGOT to call me. :( But anyhow, I have had heart issues my whole life. I have an arrythmia, a mitral valve prolapse, and a murmur. Apparantly my heart is working too hard so my BP is high. I am supposed to take medication but I don't, so they are referring me to a new cardiologist to follow me. They drew my lab to recheck clotting factors. They are going to see me back in two weeks because of the heart and BP issues, and I am going to have another ultrasound to check for clots and such. But baby looks fine!!!! I am praying that this baby just loves it in my tummy and wants to stay for awhile. ;) People who know keep asking me questions like "What can they do to prevent you from losing your baby?" The answer is nothing. It just happens. But they are going to follow me closely and I feel really comfortable with that. Thank you all SOOO much for your sweet comments and prayers, keep the prayers going!!!

prayers please..

2011-08-11T14:22:00.001-05:00

Today, I feel an ache so deep in my heart...

My friend Jennifer (a real life friend) and I lost our babies at around the same time and gestation last year. When I found out she was pregnant again, I was thrilled for her but still a little sad for myself (honestly). I was so happy for her, she has two girls and found out this baby was a boy.

I'm letting the cat out of the bag. I hadn't planned on telling anyone my news for awhile. I'm pregnant. I am so over the moon, but so very nervous. This baby is already sooo loved.

This morning, Jennifer texted me. Her baby died, I believe she is 19 or 20 weeks. It just is gutwrenching to go through it once, now twice. My heart hurts for her. I don't understand. Unless you have gone through this, you can't understand.
I'm writing this to please ask you to pray for her family, and to pray for me and my baby.

I hadn't planned on telling anyone for awhile longer, I go to the high risk clinic on Monday. I'm already so fearful after losing two babies. I want to have a happy, healthy, living baby in my arms. I prayed that for my friend, too.

So I don't think it matters how long I wait to tell people, I can't change the outcome. Nine short months ago, my heart went to heaven and I'm just really not the same.

I have family and friends who read this, and people I don't know. Im asking you, if you read this to please pray for my baby and for my peace. And please pray for my sweet friend.
Thank you.:)

Psalm 139:13 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb."

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