A weight-y issue

So it's become no secret I don't care too much for the skin I'm in.
Once upon a time, in a land far away there lived a girl named Ashley who cared what she put in her mouth and excercised alot.

Yes, I do realize the orange bikini is UGLY.
That girl has made way for this girl.

I'm so THRILLED I'm pregnant. But not so thrilled I let myself get soo out of shape before I got pregnant. And yes, I'm only TEN weeks. I know people who are 30 weeks that look less preggo, lol.
I have flabby arms and cellulite oh, my! I weigh more now than when I delivered Camden.
Last night after watching the BL, I felt so motivated to get back in shape. (after my sweet baby gets here, of course.)
I have struggled with weight my whole life. It's been hard because my mother is super tiny and I always wanted to look like her.
I have used food to medicate myself.
When Scott was sick, I would get fro yo from the hospital cafeteria with a hunk of carrot cake. I ate lots of cheeseburgers. I spent most of this year wanting another baby so badly I would eat to forget about it.
Then those tiny little pills I took to help me get pregnant didn't help matters! I felt like I was starving when taking them.
I'm just trying to not gain more than 18 pounds and looking forward to losing all this weight.
This post was just therapy for me. I needed to admit I can't stand my body right now. This summer, when other people were at the pool I wouldn't swim until they left. I kept my cover up on at all times until jumping in when I was super hot and just wanted to swim with my babies. Not much fun. I don't want to be like that anymore! So in 30 more weeks hopefully I can begin to feel better about myself!!!
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Ashley Jo Anglin


Brittney said...

I feel ya! I'm 27 weeks pregnant with #3 (big surprise). I had gotten within 10 lbs of my goal weight when I found out I was pregnant, so I was trying to only gain 15 lbs this time. Unfortunately I'm already almost to 20--and I've been really watching it. :(

Heather said...

Girl--thanks so much for your sweet comment on my blog!!! I can sooooo relate to this! I was right where you are...except MUCH worse!!! Seriously. I gained SO MUCH WEIGHT on the Clomid. So yes, I have lost a lot but I had ALOT to lose!!! :) You will do it too, I know and the best part is...you will be able to do it with a precious baby in your arms!!! I could just cry every day as I look at my sweet Avery Kate!!! She is worth every pound and more and I know you feel that way about your baby, too. So just hang in there...enjoy the pregnancy...and remember you have the rest of your life to exercise and workout. And you will. I know it. I miss being pregnant!!! I really do! So eat a cookie for me!! :0 ha! Just kidding---I still eat cookies...sometimes! :)

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."