Teeth pulling and Faith

Today Caden and Laiken went to the dentist to get some teeth pulled. Laiken had to get one pulled, and Cade got one filling and two baby teeth pulled. Poor Cade was dopey from laughing gas and being numb and he has just been unusually quiet all afternoon. He refused pictures, but Miss Laiken was SO excited because at 8 years old, she lost her first tooth. It's about time! And we had to have dental assistance LOL. Let's hope the rest don't wait till she's 20..:) My poor Camden had to stay at school today but he has a mouthful of problems, too. He has perfect baby teeth, but is missing 3 permanent teeth, (which he inherited from me..AGGHH!!)
Laiken on our way to Wendy's for a Frosty..:)



Wish Caden would have gotten in there!:( Oh, well.

I am posting a picture of my hair before I fixed it so that maybe someone can help me with my haircolor dilemma. I lightened it this last time, my hair is usually VERY dark. So it's already pretty light. It's just kind of turning brassy.
(AND PUHLEASE excuse the ridiculous self portrait..thanks!)


I have been doing a study on Faith. I just want anyone to know who ever reads this, that yes, I am angry sometimes. Yes, I am very sad. My heart hearts. It hurts for others. But my God is still the same as He always has been and it is important for me to understand why we go through trials that we just can't understand. Here are two verses that stand out to me.

1.“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuiness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ … receiving the end of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” (1 Peter 1:6-9)

2.“But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)

I found this in some reading I was doing and it really spoke to me.
God is the Potter and we are the clay. He wants to mold, shape and transform us into godly, righteous and holy saints. But this shaping, molding and transformation process can be a very painful process at times. And at times, a certain amount of adversity and conflict is what God will use to help shape, mold and transform us-Author Unknown

just one of those seasons..

This was Camden this morning after the school Christmas party. He had a great time and so did the other kids.

Lately Cam has been whiny...and its over the top. I try to be patient during these fits. He screamed for over the last hour for no reason, really. Then he couldn't breathe. He was holding his throat and being very dramatic. He's my sweet loving child..don't know why this has come about. After this fit, I offered him hot chocolate and he started to drink it between sobs and gasping.

It's just been one of those off days around here..the kids haven't felt good, they are excited about Christmas and its just kind of chaotic. I took a 3.5 hour nap this afternoon and Scotty watched the kids. It made me feel more tired.

I can tell you without a doubt that I just thought 2009 was a bad year after Scotty getting sick and losing a baby on Labor day..2010 was worse. I thought it was going to be the best ever..but it took a wrong turn. But I've decided its just a season of life..one of those times where your faith gets stronger, you learn what it really means to grieve, and you love a little stronger...I didnt expect to lose my precious baby girl. I told one of my nurses in the hospital I would cut my toes off if it would bring her back.(I was on stadol...)but literally that's how I felt.
I've become a stronger woman, a better mother...
Its not a season of life I would have chosen. I'm not sure why we've endured these trials this year, but I do know its His plan and I have to trust in that. His plan for my life is not my own, but my faith is becoming stronger.

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how fitting..a "God thing"..

You ever put something in your purse and forget about it? I was switching purses yesterday and I found this. Wow.
The day before Ryan went to be with Jesus I was so scared. I had an overwhelming fear. An instinct that something was wrong. I felt the need to read my bible and I went to Isaiah and I copied this verse down on this scraggly note card. I put it in my purse and forgot about it.
Yesterday, I was switching purses and I found it and i remembered. How fitting I find this verse? It gave me chills. There was no rhyme or reason to write it down..I don't know why I did. But He knew. A gentle reminder to me..He is here.
I struggle every minute of the day..but He is there for everyone of those minutes.
I want my baby back. But I know I can't. I'm angry. I'm sad. I went through 6 days of labor. I HURT. I miss her. But He is there..I can hear Him..
Daughter, I am with you..be not afraid..

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