just one of those seasons..

This was Camden this morning after the school Christmas party. He had a great time and so did the other kids.

Lately Cam has been whiny...and its over the top. I try to be patient during these fits. He screamed for over the last hour for no reason, really. Then he couldn't breathe. He was holding his throat and being very dramatic. He's my sweet loving child..don't know why this has come about. After this fit, I offered him hot chocolate and he started to drink it between sobs and gasping.

It's just been one of those off days around here..the kids haven't felt good, they are excited about Christmas and its just kind of chaotic. I took a 3.5 hour nap this afternoon and Scotty watched the kids. It made me feel more tired.

I can tell you without a doubt that I just thought 2009 was a bad year after Scotty getting sick and losing a baby on Labor day..2010 was worse. I thought it was going to be the best ever..but it took a wrong turn. But I've decided its just a season of life..one of those times where your faith gets stronger, you learn what it really means to grieve, and you love a little stronger...I didnt expect to lose my precious baby girl. I told one of my nurses in the hospital I would cut my toes off if it would bring her back.(I was on stadol...)but literally that's how I felt.
I've become a stronger woman, a better mother...
Its not a season of life I would have chosen. I'm not sure why we've endured these trials this year, but I do know its His plan and I have to trust in that. His plan for my life is not my own, but my faith is becoming stronger.
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"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."