Smorgasbord Saturday

First things first. I tried the Biggest Loser Kinect game yesterday. I actually got a good little workout. However, setting the game up, using the control panel and such was such a PAIN I wanted to throw something at my TV. It took 55 minutes to get it going and Scotty was trying to help me and it was comical. It even had a full body scan..it felt a little creepy to be scanned by a video game sensor..Anyways, I will probably do it again. I like the workout programs it has to offer, but overall I didn't love it.

My running shoes are killing my feet. I have my eye on these..want them very badly!

I know they look weird, and I've only ever seen like one person wear these in public, but I am seriously considering buying these Five Finger shoes. Anyone ever worn them?

My 365 self portrait 1.14.11..weird pic b/c of flash.

My heart hurts SO bad, I am aching. Yesterday was extra hard for me, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it was everytime I sign on to Facebook, I see a new status like "we're having a baby!!"...Please don't get me wrong, I am so excited for these people as I am sure they were for me with my babies or would be..but my innocence is gone. When I go to Target, I run *literally* past the baby stuff. It kills me. I see big pregnant bellies and wonder how mine would look now, as I should be huge..I wonder how many of these women have ever had preeclmampsia, subhorionic hemorrhage, placenta previa, and abruptions? My heart is so heavy for some of the bloggers whose blogs I read who are hurting because of similar situations. This blog world makes everything seem so small and I wonder if I should just stay off the internet..quit reading bad things..I even feel guilty blogging about my feelings. I'm a happy, fun person and I hate that I feel this way. I saw this quote yesterday.."The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason you held on for so long.."

Today will be a good day. I let Laiken invite her little BFF over and their cousins are spending the night also and they are going to make and decorate their own pizzas and cookies, and play Dance Central on the Kinect. We are going to have a house full of kids. I may need earplugs...Haha. I'm going to spend the morning cleaning and hanging out with the kiddos, and get ready for all these other kids to come over. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

I miss her. Psalms 34:28
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."


Melody said...

So sorry you are having a hard time. I'm sure talking to you about my attempts to get pregnant are not helping. I know that you will never stop missing her but I do believe that the pain will not always be this bad or hard. Hang in there and have fun tonight!

Trena said...

That verse has gotten me through these past 5 months without my sons. I am so sorry for your loss and I will be keeping you in my prayers. ♥

Jennifer Ross said...

I've been meaning to stop by your blog and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your comment on my latest post. Just knowing that someone is lifting you up in prayer is so powerful. It brings some peace.

Sometimes, I want to stop getting on my blog too. It can be so depressing to read the heartache all of the time. I continue for Isaiah. For his life, taken.

God Bless, and prayers for you to be blessed with your hearts desire for more children.

I'm so so sorry that you have entered the world of grief and loss.

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."