He lives

This has been a really great weekend. The pictures are of my kids playing at the River Market.

Today I woke up with a sadness I haven't felt so much in awhile, and it just felt like a heavy blanket. I cried before church, during church, and on our way home. I wanted my baby girl with me. She should have a giant bow in her hair and the precious handmade smocked dress my grandmother made for me when I was a baby and Laiken wore her first Easter too. During the praise announcements during church, there were several pregnancies announced and although I'm joyous for them, I was sad for me. Here is what I do know. He died for me. He is the reason I can face tomorrow..because he lives. I stand strong in my faith, and although I am sad, I will not be moved. I will continue to praise Him. I think its ok to be sad..but I do know without a doubt I will see Ryan again, someday. In Heaven.
I started a Facebook page for Ryan (its on the left sidebar if you would like to like it.) I am trying to get everything organized, but my hope is that I can get several hope baskets together for the hospital I delivered her at. The bereavement program was ok, and the nurses were great, but I wanted to give moms some hope, encouragement, and support. I'm still trying to decide what all to put in the baskets. Any suggestions? This keeps me busy and makes me feel a little hopeful.

I hope everyone had a joyful Easter, I really wanted my kids to understand it is not about pretty colors, and hunting eggs, and getting an Easter basket. I think they are beginning to understand a little more.

Happy Easter to all.:)
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Kim said...

What about a mini scrapbook? I had one and the hospital filled it with Reese and Scotlyn's things and pictures. There could be a place for footprints and handprints. This is a great idea. I'm sorry you're feeling so down right now. It's a rough life, that's for sure. Thinking of you.

Melody said...

I think Ryan's hope is a great idea. I don't know what to put in it because I have never experienced that so I don't know what would help me in that situation.

Melody said...

I did it... I called in the clomid refill. Friday or Saturday is the day. The bottle says days 5-9 but that always makes me O SO late so I'm thinking 4-8 or 3-7 this time? Suggestions always welcome :)

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."