3.09.2012

Almost here

Tonight is my last Friday night being a mom of three. This time next week, I should have a new baby at home with me. I can't believe in just a few days, this little girl who has been prayed over will make her entrance into this world. And she has been prayed for very much, for her existence, for her to keep growing, and for her to stay safe after I found out about the previa. We've both been covered in prayer. I can't believe sometimes this is real and is happening. That there is a baby girl inside me, although I feel her movements, the baby room across the house full of clothes and diapers and pink...it's hard to wrap my mind around.
There are moments I feel conflicted, I feel guilty. Guilty because there are some days I dont think of Ryan Elizabeth so much, and some days I cry so much because I wish she were here. Guilty because I'm having this blessing, while so many are on their knees praying for the same blessing in the form of a sweet baby.
Some days I'm so excited I just want to squeal with delight and fall to my knees thanking Him for this amazing blessing. I go sit in her room and stare at her clothes, wondering who she is going to look like and imagining her wearing all these clothes..kissing her tiny lips..seems so far away, yet I know it's almost here. I was told Wednesday it looked like she has lots of hair, which I didn't doubt. I'm sure it will be black and thick like the others. Or will it be red like my grandpa? Or really blonde like my mom?
Will she be easy or fussy? Is she gonna be 6lbs like my Dr. thinks or way bigger? Or smaller?
I pray her lungs are healthy and she stays out of the NICU. I will be 36.5 weeks when she's born..
I can't believe she's hung in there with this stupid placenta. I've waited every day to bleed, I've pushed myself past what I should be doing, and the Drs. seem to be amazed it hasn't given out.
We are covered in prayers. I know that.
I can't wait to see the look on my kids faces when they meet their sister, and realize she's real after they have experienced so much heartache and have seen their mom nearly lose it.
I can't wait to put her in her sisters first Easter dress, and take her to church where everyone has prayed for this baby girl. I can't wait to teach her about Jesus.
She is already loved so much, I can't imagine the moment when I see her face for the first time, how much more in love I will be.
I'm very nervous about my Csection, I know I'm in good hands, but I'm still nervous. Please pray for me {and Sawyer} if you think about it..I've spent alot of time praying for peace lately.
I still can't believe 9 months have gone by..and she's still here waiting to meet her mommy and daddy. And we can't wait to meet her..this has flown by but the days have been long sometimes..it has been the biggest emotional roller coaster ride of my life and I'm ready for it to be over. Im ready for her to be safe in my arms..
Thank all of you who have been so prayerful and full of support the last 9 months..it means the world..I can't wait to introduce Sawyer Bliss to you all!!
And if you're wondering about this last Friday night, I had a great steak dinner, a nice warm bath, and now I have a date with my heating pad and Dateline. Then 20/20. Exciting stuff:-)


9 comments:

The Mama said...

We are praying for you both sweet friend. I know you cannot wait, and I absolutely cannot wait to "meet" her.

I've told you before, my Nate was born right at 36 weeks with no shots for his lungs and we didn't have any NICU time. Praying for the same for sweet Sawyer.

Praying for you!!!!!!

Becky said...

So, so very happy for you all! Can't wait to hear of Miss Sawyer's arrival and see pics! :) Always Praying!!

Hillary said...

Lots of continued prayers for you girl! I can't wait until next week! You will both do great!!

xoxox

Kim said...

I think about you all the time! I am so happy you are soooo close, I can't imagine all of the emotions that wrapped around you. I will definitely be thinking of you and your family in the next week and I can't wait to see Sawyer!

The Price Family! said...

What an amazing post! I really needed this today! I lost a little boy back in the summer and now Im 10 weeks pregnant. I can't help have the same feelings you are having. I worry about my children praying they don't have to loose another sibbling. I will be keeping you and your entire family in my prayers.

Sarah said...

So excited to see this beautiful little girl. Praying for you over these next few days!!! :)

Nancy said...

This post makes me cry & I don't know you personally!! So excited for you, praying for you, and hope you rest good & have a wonderful weekend.
I got an Iphone & wanted to know if you are on Instagram? It's my new love!

KERRY said...

You have me all excited for you!! It is such an amazing feeling isn't it to know you will have your new baby in your arms at last. What will she look like, sound like etc. And to know exactly when she's coming is surreal. I have had two C-sections,you will be fine :)
I can't wait to hear that she has arrived safely!!
Enjoy every minute xo

Katie said...

So excited for you, girl. Can't wait to meet your sweet new one. ; )

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."