Chinese Food and THE fever.

I so DID not take this pic of myself in my car on my lunch break, alone because I wanted a pic of my hair...no, not me.

My teeth look freakishly huge in this picture. I really decided today I need to do something about that....

This Biggest Loser was a LOSER tonight and went to the Chinese Buffet. Ugh. Really, I didn't want to go but Scotty did so I couldn't say no, right? I don't feel TOO guilty. It was pretty good. I LOVE Chinese food and so do all three of my kids. Can you tell?
This is Cam cramming his face. :-)

Caden lost another tooth this morning and he was pretty excited. His mouth is looking a little awkward these days. We are supposed to get nasty weather here in Arkansas on Friday so I am hoping it doesn't change his Bday plans. He is pretty set on Red Lobster.

I debated posting this....but it weighs on my mind SO much. Most of you know how badly I wanted a fourth baby...(PLEASE do not think I am not THANKFUL for the three I have..)I just really really wanted a fourth baby. When I got the positive pregnancy test, I was so OVERJOYED. To put it MILDLY. As I became nauseated and feeling nasty I was just so thankful I was happy to be sick. After the bleeding scares and then being reassured the baby was fine, I promised myself I wouldn't take a Tylenol or drink anymore coffee or Diet Coke. But it wasn't part of God's plan for me to have this baby. I was so devastated. I decided to try to start trying again right away. I knew when I was fertile and I started taking early result tests every month. Then Scotty got sick and after he really got bad, I felt really guilty for still wanting another baby when he was so sick. But I still thought about it alot. I feel so selfish for even admitting that. I have been praying about this and I know that God's plan is perfect and this was just not part of his plan right now. I just still really want another baby so much. Sigh.

Lord, I believe that You created me for a special purpose, and that You have a perfect plan for my life. I ask that You fulfill Your purpose for me, and help me to do my part by earnestly seeking You daily through prayer and Your Word. Thank You that as I seek You each day, You will "guide me along the best pathway for my life"! (Psalm 32:8 NLT)

1 comment:

Melody said...

Ashley, My husband and I have NO money right now and we just bought a new house and we like to visit the casino once a week. So, I pretty much feel selfish and horrible as well. But, I also want another baby REALLY badly! Bailey just turned 2 and I really don't want her to be an only child and I NEVER only wanted one! I've been praying about this too So, we all have something making us feel "guilty" DON'T! It's great when people who are GOOD mommies and daddies want to have babies! What's sad is when people have them and don't take care of them. But, you are a great mom! I don't think God gives us desires and then laughs and says "Haha, I know you want this but you aren't going to get it." I'm sure you'll get another baby :) Sorry too that I don't always post a comment but I read your blog almost daily. Usually, my 2 year old is in my ear yelling that she needs milk haha so I don't always have time to respond (sorry for the novel) Hugs

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."