Fears and tears and hopeful dreams

Today I went to my regular OB. We talked about bleeding, delivery, emergencies...fun stuff. I have so many fears I can't even wrap my mind around them.

So we decided IF no complications I will have an amnio at 35 weeks. Delivery will be early March-ish. This is like 10-11 weeks away... Seems very soon. She did say she will have another dr. scrub in with her due to bleeding risks and the need for assistance. I really love my dr, she listens to my fears and doesn't brush me off.

It is very likely I will bleed, dilate, or contract before then. I will be seeing her every two weeks and the perinatologist every 4. I am on restricted activity, but not bedrest yet. I am feeling lots of pressure due to the placenta so I take it very easy. This may change soon. They cannot check me, nor do they want to do a transvaginal ultrasound. They also don't want me to dilate so since this is not my first baby, and I've dilated at 35ish weeks with my last full term birth, if I do or contract and bleeding starts, delivery is imminent. There are just lots of scenarios that could happen. I'm trying to make it to 30 weeks, that would be huge. I do not want to lose another child. I'm terrified. I would love to make it to the 35-36 week mark for delivery. Please pray Sawyer is a good girl in there!;) I'm headed straight to the hospital at any sign of bleeding.

I know sections are very common, and lots of you guys have had them! I'm still scared:( Tell me what to expect!

I'm SO thankful that I have two doctors! I'm thankful I have a perinatologist and he told me that my OB was the captain of the ship, he was just there to make sure this little girl keeps growing and stays healthy.

When I was pregnant last year with Ryan, I bled so much and my dr. continued to tell me it was fine. He ignored me. I begged for help. I wish he had referred me to a perinatologist instead of me always wondering.

I cannot stop staring at my gazillion pics of Sawyer Bliss and she is so perfect! Scotty and I are already talking about who she's going to look like. Our kids all look so different. It's amazing to watch your child grow inside of you..what a miracle. He is in control.


The Mama said...

God is in control my friend. He knows all of your fears and He hears you. Praying so hard for your sweet, sweet little Sawyer in there, and for you!!!

Nancy said...

Praying for you & Sawyer!
May she get all of the time in there she needs & that your health will be just fine while you wait on the C-section.

Hillary said...

Gosh girl, you are dealing with just so much right now. I know how scary all of this can be, especially after the loss of Ryan. I wish that I could tell you that everything will be ok but we both know that its all in Gods hand. Just know that there are SOO many people praying for you and precious Sawyer right now!! You are the best Momma and I know that you are doing all in your power to keep her right where she needs to be!

Lots of love and prayers for you guys!

Also if I don't get a chance to say it in a couple of days, Merry Christmas!!


Jay and Kristen said...

Hey Praying for you in all this. It's so much to be having to deal with. I had a c-section with Jayci (who is now 5) so I'll try to remember. Of course, the whole process will be different since you know she will probably be early.I stayed in the hospital for 3 days. I don't know what hospital you are delivering at. But I had Jayci at St. Vincents and my doctor there let me have a "walking" epidural that allowed me to get up and walk but still kept my midsection numb. That was so helpful for the first time I had to walk.
But recovery wise really wasn't too bad. Of course, I was 21 when I had Jayci and didn't have any other kids. Just make sure you have lots of help for several weeks. I felt like I couldn't stand up straight for about a week. It was definitly a harder recovery than having a vag delivery but really it's totally doable with help.

Praying for a healthy baby that keep cooking for as long as possible!!

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."