Blessed be the name

“Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21).

The Lord giveth

And he taketh away

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Oh, how I wonder so much about what might have been and having this sweet princess makes me wonder so much about my sweet girl in heaven. What she would have grown to look like, her personality, how I'm missing first steps, first words, lost teeth, scraped knees, dancing with daddy, riding a bike, playing softball, first dates..I won't be taking prom pictures or be on the front row of her wedding. But I will see her someday in heaven. That I know. Oh, how I still wonder.

But I do know that Jesus is the same today as He was yesterday, and I will continue to praise His name.


Angie said...

Oh Ashley, I know this feeling all too well. I am writing my march for babies blog post and saw this.
Kallen was/is SUCH a blessing but it makes me think of Emma SO much more than I thought. Certain things 'trigger' and I also do the 'what if' game, among so many more things.

I remind myself so often that my baby girl is with Jesus, she is safe and perfect and I will see her again. What a comfort that is. It doesnt make the 'wondering' stop, but I dont expect it too. I look at life so incredibly differently. Meaningless small things are SO important and the way I 'felt' about different things definitely changed as well. I know you relate and understand.
Thinking of you, as this new transition is bound to bring back some of those feelings and more.
Sawyer is just beautiful - hope everything has been going well!

Kim said...

Big hugs dear. Each day is so rough with its own challenges. Its not fair and it doesn't make sense. Sending you peace:) Sawyer is such a precious darling and Ryan is just as precious and darling and loved. Thinking of you.

Hillary said...

Oh girl, I was just thinking similar things the other day. Prayers for you and your sweet newest daughter!


Tesha said...

Yes I can imagine...a new baby would bring up these feelings. Ryan and Sawyer are blessed to have a loving sweet mommy. I am saying a prayer for you now!

Megan said...

Beautiful post. Truly beautiful. I know this all too well. :')

Nicole said...

I must admit, I've thought those things too. There's a little bit of sadness in the great joy of having our rainbow babies here.

Love seeing pictures of beautiful Sawyer!

The Mama said...

I can't pretend to understand what you are feeling, but what I can do is pray for your daily. I know that one day you will see sweet Ryan in heaven and your family will all be together again. I am praying for you my friend.

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."