9.09.2012

Part two



So, I am back to try and write the next part of my weight loss journey. I have mulled this over in my head over and over and over.

I found out I was pregnant again in the summer of 2011 and I was THRILLED. But nervous, scared, anxious, all the other emotions after you experience miscarriage and stillbirth..I also knew I couldn't gain much weight because I was, well, fat. Overweight. Whatever. I managed to not gain a ton compared to the other babies..but we won't even get into that now. I promised myself while pregnant this weight would come off after she was born. I was tired of hiding and being miserable. This girl wouldn't wear sleeveless shirts or shorts in public. I was SO self-conscious. And having heart issues, my heart was racing out of control and that was miserable. It was miserable leaving my house wondering who I would run into and think "wow, she got fat." I know that sounds vain, maybe so...but I was honestly SO unhappy and the weight just was icing on the cake, no pun intended.

March 2012 Sawyer Bliss was born and I was SO happy and thrilled she made it here safely and I was safe and that the journey to having our miracle baby was OVER. She was here and all I wanted to do was soak myself into this sweet baby, and enjoy every second. About 5 weeks after she was born, Scotty was deployed to work in Knoxville, TN.

Here's where I should press rewind. I was annoyed with him while I was pregnant because I did have cravings and ate bad things and he was on a weight loss rampage. He was working out daily and I was couch ridden. I wanted him to wait until I had this baby to start losing weight.

Back to Knoxville. I was alone with three kids, a newborn, kids school, activities, church, etc. I was EXHAUSTED doing it all alone. And I was at the point where I had to do it. I had to make the committment to the promise I made myself months earlier. And I did. Scotty started running while he was gone working and was sending me pictures of himself skinnier:-) I wanted it to happen fast and miraculously and it just needed to melt off, ha! I knew and still know clean eating is the key to being healthy and losing weight and that's how I started. I also used to have a screwed up mentality. I would tell myself "one brownie wont kill you" or "taco bell isnt that bad for you"..I started holding myself accountable.

MyFitness Pal can be your BFF in your weight loss journey, especially in the beginning. I calculated everything I ate, and ate no more than 1200 calories a day. I started doing small workouts, nothing huge, and weight actually started to fall. It became fun for me. Seriously-I wish I could help and motivate everyone who struggles with this-because I did for SO SO long. I'm not sure what clicked but maybe it was the realization that that one brownie had a TON of calories and if you eat one bad thing every day, that really adds up. I also realized not only do I want to look good, and face it, we all do..BUT I wanted to be HEALTHY. I spent alot of time convincing myself that at a plus size I could still look good. My face wasn't that bad..I could make plus size cute. And yeah, I could still manage to find decent clothes and yes, I could still manage to look cute but all the convincing myself in this world cannot make being overweight healthy. It's just not. Every extra pound to me became one less risk factor for heart disease, arthritis, and diabetes. And I already used to take diabetes medicine. I was going to leave this part out, because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or offend anyone..but this is my blog and journey and I feel like it's important. You can tell yourself all day long, I am not THAT fat, but being overweight is BAD for you. I wish I hadn't gotten myself to that point and I don't judge anyone who is. It happens and it's so easy to do and once you get there, it's SO hard to turn back and lose the weight. So hard.

So once I realized I wasn't healthy and I wasn't that cute, and that that darn brownie was going to hurt me, it just became easy to make healthy choices. And it really is so much fun weighing and seeing pounds fall off and I know that I am a healthier mom to these four kids God gave me. I have no desire to be skinny-I am NOT anywhere near skinny nor is my body type skinny:-) But I do want to lose 20 more lbs or so and I know I will. It feels great to lose pant sizes and realize how big the old pants were. It feels great not to hide behind a camera. I hated the stupid camera. My mom takes SO many pictures, we call her the paparazzi. I hated her stupid pictures. After I had SB, one of those pics surfaced on facebook and I wasn't even aware that my picture was taken. I threw a fit, I cried, I bawled and squaled and made her delete it. I was SO humiliated. It was in the beginning of my weight loss journey, and it honestly was a huge motivator for me.

Everyone wants to know How? Read above. Alot of it is healthy mindset. But the rest is what you do with your body. Your body needs fuel, not cake. Your body was not designed to eat processed foods. I am pretty sure hamburger helper and cream cheese frosting weren't around when Adam and Eve came to be. Do I still eat these foods occasionally? Yes. Do I still love them? Duh. But do I feel 100% better not eating them 98% of the time? Absolutely. I am not much of a crunchy granola type girl-but I realize how much of what we eat is poison. When I decided to count calories, I knew forzen meals or weight watchers wasn't for me. AGAIN-DO NOT take this personally if these are methods that you use or work for you. Ok, thanks. Anyhow-those frozen meals are DISGUSTING and they don't fill you up. They are chock full of preservatives and things I can't pronounce and they set you up tp fail. Some people say they don't have time. It's an excuse. It takes me under 15 minutes to prepare my dinner. I dropped red meat (oh, how I LOVE steak), dropped diet coke, and sugar. I'd be lying if I said I don't have a diet coke about once a week or two now but just ONE. And not every day. Water became my friend. Unsweet tea. No artificial sweetners. They are SO bad. My dinners are chicken, brown rice, and a vegetable. It is so good seriously-I crave it. Sometimes we have turkey burgers on sandwich thins. I eat fats from avocados, olive oil, and nuts. I just don't eat white foods (other than egg whites for breakfast). Sour cream, ranch, cream cheese, all the stuff I used to love is gone. But do I love being more like the old me? Yes. Is it worth it? yes. I would rather be healthy and fit into cute jeans. I have a cheat meal usually on Sundays-but still it's never that bad. I rarely eat out anymore. Mostly after church and I don't go overboard. I honestly can't even eat that much anymore. I get full fast. So if I decide I want ONE cookie, I eat it. I can work it off. Sawyer isn't quite 6 months yet and I have lost 70 lbs. That includes the "pregnancy" weight. But, honestly there wasn't that much of that.

I know this is a lifelong committment to be healthy. I live in the south and we all love butter, biscuits, and sweet tea. I know that I constantly have to make choices. But life is all about choices and if you are aware that the choices you make are harmful, it's easier to stop doing them. I am stopping this here- I was going to do another post on what I eat and don't eat, but I think I am done. If you want me to, let me know and I will think about it. I really would love to motivate others, but this is just me sharing my journey on my blog. If you have any questions though or anything, please let me know! I would love to answer them. And if you read through this whole long post, bless you!

I will leave you with a picture of me and Scotty from last January and a picture from vacation. I like the second one better:-)

12 comments:

Mrs. S said...

This is so awesome!! So proud of you and your accomplishments! I was trying to lose 20 more lbs before I got pregnant so I'm going to have a journey as well. I'll use your story as motivation! Didn't know your husband was in Knoxville! Was he working on the storm stuff?keep up the good work gf!

LC said...

You go girl!!!! 70lbs in 6 months?! That's so amazing!

Summer said...

OK sooooo did ya wait enough for part two ahem lol! That pic of you with little Miss Sawyer Bliss and Scotty omg loooooove it and your hair is blonde Miss Thang! I love it! I love this post! I am adding it to my favorites so when I get off the steroids and the Dr.s give me the go ahead to do this I am gonna! Now I am gonna ask them if I can diet some, since my labs are everywhere they wont let me tweak much lol, but they did say to nix the soda and sweet tea oh how I love sweet tea lol! So unsweet do you just get used to it? Can you drink it everyday lol! OK so I really love your motivation girl and I love that you lost so much in so little time, I heard if you just stop drinking soda and sugary drinks alone you can loose 30 lbs really quickly! I really love this journey and a lot of it is as if you picked my brain and wrote it! I think that all the time when I see people that don't know what I am going through or haven't seen me in awhile I think they are saying she has gotten big, and I like you try so hard to angle pics right, and cry like a baby when I see them, thing is with me I have a gimongous steroid head too lol so my body isn't really that big but my head is ha! So in pictures I look crazy big....and as much as I try to say I can make this look this way or this or this, truth is I won't truly be happy with my body again until the steroids are gone I can loose a bit of weight and feel better! I spoke to a girl whom like me gained a massive amount on steroids and as soon as she got off of them she lost 90 lbs she said 50 came off water weight alone! I can't wait to get that journey started! I love hearing yours make a part three make a part three, gooooo Ashley lol! Oh and make a part three ha!
love EVE :)

Nancy said...

Such an inspirational story. I got off of my rear this morning & took my dog for a two mile walk, thanks to you! I'm gonna read this post more than once to remind myself how healthy eating can make us feel so much better. I'm so glad you shared, Ashley!!

Sarah said...

Thanks for sharing. I'm in the midst of this right now and it's so great to see others have success and know I can too! You look amazing!!! :)

Taylor said...

You look sooo great!!!! Such an encouragement!!!

Tesha said...

Good for you!!! I have believed all that you said for a long time and have tried to fuel my body instead of feed it. I have a cheat meal about twice a week and enjoy it. I have learned to cook healthy and enjoy simple pure foods. You look amazing!!!! Congratulations on a job well done!

Kim said...

Awesome work! It does feel so good! I feel the same way in not knowing what clicked, but something is different this time. I haven't blogged about it, but have contemplated it and I definitely am not finished. Thank you for sharing your story!

The Momma said...

Love this. I think that each one of us probably has a weight loss story at one point or another and it feels so good to write it out and get it off your chest doesn't it? You are awesome, and you did an amazing job. :) You go GIRL!!!!

KERRY said...

You guys look amazing!!! Seriously, you should be so proud Ashley :) I wish I could write a post just like this but I am a long way off from that point. Thank you for sharing and for inspiring!! You look beautiful, but you were always beautiful, now you're just healthier xo

Nicole said...

Great job! This is super awesome! You guys look so good. Agreed, you've always been beautiful though!

Jeff, Sarah, Lydia & Jack Henry said...

Wow!! You look great! I am TRYING hard to lose the same 15 pounds I've been trying to get rid of for almost a year now. =( It's so frustrating. I do well working out and eating and then I don't see results I want and I seem to give up. I get so mad at myself!! I've got to just stick with it!

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."