Monday almost Tuesday

I had some long post typed up, but I accidently deleted it.
Today/yesterday(just realized the time) has been nightmareish. I passed out in the shower yesterday, was forced into an epidural I didn't want on Sunday, just to endure getting my water broke. My heart rate blood pressure went down and it was no fun at all. My emotions are up and down, I laughed a little today. I have to make some tough decisions about proceeding this like this. 6 days of induction and broke water means baby should be here. But it's not so I'm just very upset about it.
I'm ready for some closure. I'm still in shock. Why me? This blog world has made reality greater for me and it's scary but I'm so glad that i've gotten to pray for other people I would have never known to pray for. The texts, emails, facebook messages, comments.. Thank you. I love knowing that people are praying for me while I'm feeling brokenhearted. Most of you know I wanted so very badly to be pregnant after my last loss. I really am at a loss right now on how to feel, but I'm sure once I'm home, the grieving process can begin. I am praising Him right now that I am surrounded by love. I'm just lost right now and need lots of love. Going on day 7 in hospital is rough. It's hard to lay here and think. I've been praying alot and listening to pandora radio alot. When I hear a new baby cry, I turn up the radio and tune it out. I've prayed for these babies and their parents.
I'll try to update more tomm(or later today.)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Ashley Jo Anglin


Nic said...

Praying for you Ashley!

Melody said...

Oh Ashley, I don't even know what to say. you have been in my thoughts SO much the past few days and in my prayers too. I don't know why things like this have to happen and the comment "There is a reason for everything" just isn't going to cut it right now! I'm so sorry! I love you and continue to pray for peace for you and scotty!

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."