Ryan E., Christmas tree, and Rednecks

I am trying so very hard not to be angry. I want to have a thankful heart, but right now it is so very hard because I am pretty angry right now in all honesty. I miss my baby so much and it's just not fair. I look at myself and cry...my pregnant belly is gone and I miss rubbing it and talking to my sweet girl..I know she's in a better place but I want her with me, I suppose it's me being selfish. I miss you so much, Ryan ELizabeth. I long for the day I can hold her again. A church in town sent me this sweet little angel. It was at the cemetary when I got there, I don't know anyone who attends this church. I found out later they have a ministry where they send out these angels to all the babies who go be with Jesus in our town.

I put up my Christmas tree..however, I have put no ornaments on it. It's just big and bare. Hopefully tonight I get it all done. About two years ago, I decided to put black, silver, and white on my big tree. Now I can't stand it, but I'm kinda stuck with lots of black and silver stuff. I usually put the more traditional stuff on the little tree. I really want to do a brown, gold, and lime tree with peacock feathers/colors...I saw one today and fell in love. But I'm going to make do with what I've got this year. I went and bought some more silver twigs and feathers and some new ribbon today so hopefully I can spruce up my black and silver tree.
Pretty bare and pitiful. huh? I guess I have plenty of time to decorate the tree. I can't believe I took down the Thanksgiving stuff. Truthfully since we no longer live in a neighborhood(oh, how I miss it!) I really don't care about decorating for holidays as much. Noone stops by our house, because it's so far out. Our house is far off the road in the boondocks, so noone sees it anyways.:-)

If you live around here, you probably hunt or your husband hunts. It's just a common thing around here. I'm lucky in a sense that my hubby doesn't leave and go to deer camp for days at a time. We live on our hunting land. My husband has killed and tagged two deer since Saturday. This morning he called me (I was in bed) begging me to help him load up a deer on the fourwheeler. He was having a hard time because it was so heavy so I got out of bed and helped him. I don't eat deer meat. I used to, and I really loved it until I got some bad deer meat once when we lived in Greers Ferry and I was done. It makes me nauseated now. I have a whole deep freeze full of it now. How do you feel about deer meat? Love it or hate it? Just wondering. He has taken all three of the kids this weekend but this takes the cake..he texted me this from his stand..
Isn't this so sweet? Something about my baby girl and her daddy gets me. It makes my heart smile. I love how he loves her so much and how much she admires her daddy. :-)


Kelsey said...

It depends on how it's cooked, but for the most part I really LOVE it! We tend to eat the "back-strap" fried and a new technique that the Master Chef aka my boyfriend (I'm being sarcastic!) came up with is to add OJ to the pan after everything is fried, put the meat back in for a few minutes and viola, it has a nice, subtle orange flavor.

PS: I've been thinking about you!

The Mama said...

I don't do deer meat either and we have a freezer full of it as well!

Praying for you!

"We can cry with hope, we can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope.."