White Bean Chicken Chili

I am going to post this as a recipe for four. But, I always use twice this much stuff. I am not a big recipe follower, so I always end up with my own concoctions and have had to try to come up with some measurements. :)

2 tablespoons canola oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 tsp chili powder
1 tablespoon ground cumin
a smidge of coriander seen...I suppose you could leave it out
1/2 a jar of OLD EL PASO SALSA VERDE
1 pound cut up chicken. You can use breasts or thighs. I prefer the breast.
3 15-ounce cans cannelloni beans (or any white beans you like)
1 cup chicken broth
1 7-ounce can diced mild green chilies
½ cup whipping cream
Salt and pepper to taste
1 jar green salsa or tomatillo salsa (optional)
Chopped fresh cilantro (optional)
Cheddar cheese (optional)
sour cream (optional)
Guac (optional)
black olives (optional)
1. Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add onion, garlic,
cumin, and other seasonings. Sauté 5 minutes. Push onion
mixture to one side of pan.
2. Season chicken with salt and pepper and add to empty side of
pan.(You can also use two pans) Sauté chicken 4-5 minutes until it is lightly golden.
3. Drain beans. Add beans, broth, chilies and whipping cream
to pot. Add some salsa verde..about half a jar. Simmer until chicken is tender and cooked all the way
though, about 10 minutes. You can simmer this as long as you like.
4. Season to taste with salt and pepper or whatever.
5. Top with whatever you like from the optionals.

I feel like I am missing something...LOL...and sorry if this is confusing!!!!

I love my crazy life.

First off....GOD is SO good. Sometimes he nudges us to do things we don't want to do, but when we do we are so blessed. I met someone today I can totally relate to who has a child with Asperger's at my "new job". I don't have any friends with kids with Asperger's and as we talked out in the parking lot, I was amazed. :) I think my new job will work out well. I am going to be a preschool teacher. That means lots of four year olds. Please pray for me!!!!

Camden is fearless. He will pick up any kind of bug or critter. I have told him that some things bite and are poisonous and we shouldn't do that. I have also told him not to harm animals. Once, he plucked the eyeballs out of a lizard at a playdate while in the sandbox and brought it to me. I was mortified. (He was three.) I have told him to STAY AWAY from snakes. So yesterday I was a little freaked out when he walks in the (new) house dangling what else but a snake. Long story short, Scotty googled it for me..it's not a bad snake...but still. After it was all said and done, I took a pic of the nasty thing.


Have you ever felt nostalgic about your childhood? Yesterday I had some time to kill before picking up kids, and I went and drove by my old house I grew up in. My parents are divorced and this house has lots of memories. We lived there in a nice neighborhood, where I rode my bike every day to the corner to meet my best friend. Rain or snow. I remember all the yummy dinners my mom made me in that kitchen. I can remember my first "real" kiss on that front porch. I remember trying to sell lemonade in the yard. I can remember washing my Honda Prelude in a bikini in the driveway. I can remember birthday parties, family BBQ's and so many other things. It was filled with love and grown in southern pride. (Thanks Zac Brown!!) Haha. I want that for my kids. We have moved so much. I want a place they can remember and look back and say I had a good childhood. A house that is more than a house, but a home. Filled with lots of love and chocolate chip cookies. I am sure the current homeowners thought I was crazy, but I took a pic. :-) My parents built this house together and I remember the first day we had a slab. I was 6. I will always have a special place in my heart for this house...



I took my mom out to the house to check out the paint last night. She hadn't been out there in awhile. What do you think about the kitchen? Is it too orangish? (Be honest) My family room is a chocolatey brown and I really like it. The ceiling fan is going to be replaced with a stacked stone fan. I do not like the one up there.


Let me just tell you about the morning I had. I drop my kids off and head to Starbucks. I had to be at the preschool at nine. It was eight when I got there. I thought I have time to kill, I will go inside and skip the drive thru. I was gonna get two lattes and take one to my mom for her Bday. I lock my keys in my car. AGAIN. I did this last week and my dad had to rescue me. I was about to cry, but I went inside and asked to use their phone, but didn't know who to call. Thankfully I saw my friend Ann and she looked up the locksmiths number on her laptop. THANK YOU, ANN!! And I got to visit with her while I waited on him, so that was nice. But the $50 was NOT so nice. Ugh.....I made it to the preschool at 8:56 with one latte. Oh, and did I mention that they are OUT of Pumpkin Spice lattes at the Bryant Starbucks?? They are waiting on a truck to deliver some "pumpkin". Whatever!!!


I am now off to take my momma to lunch!!!

I'm tired...

I'm tired ya'll. I had full intentions of uploading some pics and blogging, but it's gonna have to wait until tomorrow. Busy day. Went to Dr.--they thought I had blood clot, send me immediately to the vein specialist. It's not a DVT, thank heavens. That took awhile. I also walked in somewhere and I think I scored a job. I go in tomm at 9:00. More on that later...the other job I had mentioned wasn't going to pan out, I don't think. And this one is perfect. I have had lots of friends ask me why I am going to work. I need to work so I can get health insurance. Plain and simple. My husband works for State Farm, but is "self employed" . They hire him out. So NO benefits and with kids, it gets hard. We planned to be able to pay for the pregnancy and were put on a monthly plan. It's just rough. So, there ya have it. :)
I will be back tomm with job detais, my chicken chili recipe, and some house pics. C ya later, I am going to bed!!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Mom!!!!!!!! Tomorrow is her Bday and I love her more than the world!!!

What I've been up to.

Excuse my self portrait, but here I am getting ready to go on a mission for pants for the boys. They love athletic/wind type pants, and I don't like spending a fortune so I hit up some resale stores and Savers today. They each got 5 pair and I spent less than $40 on all of them. Yea!! I would rather spend my money on church clothes and going to dinner type clothes, but the boys hate wearing jeans to school. Go Figure.


Our family has one less tooth. Caden lost his 2nd tooth. It seems kind of strange to me that he is almost eight and only lost two teeth. My other kids have no signs of loose teeth, either. Maybe our kids are just slow teeth losers...haha.
He sure is proud of this.


I have been doing lots of cooking, especially soups and chili. I make the best Chicken Chili EVER. Hands down. :) Laiken has been loving helping her mama in the kitchen. On Sat, Scotty took the boys to the woods to shoot their BB guns (Scary, I know) and she helped me cook and we turned up the music loud from the satellite and danced and cooked and sang.


I want to ask you guys if you can say a prayer for me. My grandpa just got diagnosed with prostate cancer. If you know me, you know he is SO important to me. I know prostate cancer is very common and treatable, so I am reassured by that. He still needs our prayers. It is a reminder to me that he is getting older, and it is bittersweet for me. I love that man.
(Please excuse this pic, I look very fat and greasy here. :( )



Right now, I am cuddled up with this little guy. We are watching Dora (but SHHHH, don't tell anyone) He is embarrassed for anyone to know he still likes Dora. So silly. :)
Always making the Silliest Faces.




I have also been working on house stuff, which is time consuming and stressful and that's why I decided a while back I was not going to blog about it really until it's all done. :-)

I am also contemplating on opening a business with a friend of mine in the near future. Do any of you own your own businesses and have any advice?? It's exciting and scary. I am not going to say too much, because I am scared it won't happen. I am praying about it. It's something I have always wanted to do.

Ok, so I am going to admit this. I bought about well, several pregnancy tests in case I may or may not need them. Well in the past I have just gone and bought the cheapest one. I decided to research the best and earliest most accurate predictor. I had NO idea they had websites dedicated to that stuff....I stumbled upon www.peeonastick.com and got a good laugh out of it. I never knew people stressed so much about pregnancy tests. I guess when you are trying to concieve, and tracking your cycle carefully, those sticks become your friend or enemy.

Ok, that's all for now!! Have a happy Monday!!

Taking a Break

This is my 201 post on this blog. :-)
I will be taking a bloggy break for a few days. I am super busy and need to stay away from the computer for a couple of days. I will still be reading blogs, just not writing anything for a few.

I have been offered a job a may take that is during school hours, part time 10-3. I am praying about it, we could use the extra money. And it's not a stressful job. I honestly have been a working mommy before and yes, being at work during the day is EASIER than being a SAHM...but I cannot right now see getting up extra early to get me and three kids ready, working all day, and coming home to cook dinner and bathe kids. I have done it, and not against it. I just can't right now.

Our house is almost done. Like this time has flown by....my kitchen is no longer pink, it is the rusty reddish orange it was supposed to be. I am excited about moving to the boondocks. Today all the light fixtures went up. Do LOTS of praying before building a house, it's stressful!!

I have an unexpected surprise that will have to wait awhile to tell ya. Cause then it wouldn't be a surprise!!

Good night and have a fabulous Friday and weekend!!!

I am not going to tell you I had a bad day. I am not going to "complain". But here goes.

A creditor put a debt on our credit that does not belong to us. The debt collector was very rude and I am now having to dispute this debt. That caused me a headache this morning. I mean, Hello??? The debt is not even ours.

I left my house to go enjoy some peace at Target. My light starts blinking at me that I have very low tire pressure. I stop at the Murphy USA to air it up. No big deal, right? Maybe not, but when your doors LOCK with the keys in the ignition, it kind of stinks. Phone, purse, everything...locked away. I go inside and ask the girl if I can please use her phone to call a locksmith. Then I realize I have no money to pay him. I was going to go to the bank before Target. I am a little panicky. I called my Dad. He called a locksmith and rescued me. He even paid for it for me. I was SO grateful.

On top of those nasty fireants I got yesterday I wrote about, I fell last night and tore up my left leg to add to all my scars and bruises. (Have I told ya'll what a KLUTZ I am?) I tore it up good. I got some fireants on my hand, and I woke up with some nasty looking blisters....

My pink kitchen is STILL pink. Not happy about that, but hey it gives me something to laugh about. I have LOTS to be happy about and to be thankful for. :-)

I have lots of pics to upload, but truthfully just haven't felt like it. I will soon.

I am off to watch all of my DVR'd shows. It is SO pathetically sad how much of my life I spend watching these shows....what would I do without my TV?


Oh, and this picture was taken a year ago today after school. I remember this day, it was so pretty outide and me and the kids played outside for about three hours and then I didn't feel like fixing them dinner and they wanted McDonald's and the closest one was 25 min away (We were in Greers Ferry) and I thought what the heck....so we went to MCD's even though I dislike it very much and wasted gas, they were so happy. Sometimes it's the small things in life that can make them so happy. They have grown so much this year...:) Every time I look at this picture, I will never forget that day.. I don't know what made it so special, it just was one of those feel good great days.

Wowza.

Yesterday I was SO excited because the painters worked on Sunday to finish the painting. I walked in the door and about fell the heck out. Do you guys remember "Blush and Bashful" from Steel Magnolias? My kitchen looks like Shelby's wedding. I thought I was dreaming. I started laughing and crying. The painter said "Well, I didn't think anyone in their right mind would want a pink kitchen, but I do some ugly stuff for some folks." Oh, my. They brought the wrong color out. The right color is rust, which I am NOW second guessing. They are supposed to fix it tomorrow, but they went ahead and hung cabinets today and it looks RIDICULOUS. I so wish I would have had my camera with me. But I am not down with a PINK kitchen.

This morning I had a Dr's appt. He has diagnosed me with a luteal phase defect, and gave me a RX for Progesterone. He told me to start taking it the minute I found out I was pregnant and not to wait the nine weeks for my first appt so I didn't go crazy if I got pregnant. So I am armed with folic acid, progesterone, and a fertility monitor...(never thought I'd have to do that...haha.) I am glad my husband is a good sport....:) I cried like three times when I was in that office this morning but I am feeling so much better and grateful that I am able to try again.

Today my friend Stephanie wanted to go to the Coach store. She HAD to go to make her Birthday wishlist. I thought this was funny. I LOVE Coach, but will save money and buy it used or at the outlet. (Ok, so I only have a wallet and sunglasses but would heart a purse). Seeing as I have no health insurance for myself, three kids, and trying to have another, plus pay all my medical bills, I think the Coach can wait.:-)
I think it's funny because Stephanie cracks me up. (Sorry Stephanie, I love you.) She has always perfect nails, hair extensions, a totally cute Coach purse, and drives a very cute Mercedes. She is a single mom and says she has to look cute all the time in case she meets Mr. Right. We had fun, though. We went to the mall and looked at all the cute fall boots and muddled through our fave stores. I got some earrings and a ring at Forever 21 and some really cute sunglasses at Payless. Seeing as neither one of us had much spare change, that's about all we bought. I had alot of fun just walking around the mall talking. I haven't done that without a kid in SO long. (I LOVE school!!!!) On the way home, she hit a tire in the middle of the road and tore up the undearneath of the car. We pulled over at County Line...at a liquour store of all places and were looking under the car and she breaks a nail and I am squatting in grass when I start feeling horrible stinging. I look down and there are fire ants all over me so I start doing a jig in this parking lot. I am sure there were some folks laughing at me. What a day.

Off to watch DWTS....good night!!

Friday Ramblings

Can I just brag on my baby girl for a minute? She got Student of the Week at school this week and she came home today with a button and some freebies and she was jumping up and down she was so excited. She is my precious angel. She has NEVER ever gotten in trouble at school. She loves school, and is a social butterfly. She loves to learn, and wakes up happy in the mornings for school. She has such a special energy about her, she loves to sing and dance, and most of all, she loves Jesus. She has such a kind heart and loves to share. She has been an angel from the moment she was born. Her first year was rough due to her feeding issues, but she was so sweet about it. I am SO proud of her.

I am TIRED of the rain. I can deal with the gloominess, but this rain has gotten me under the weather a little. I am ready for some sun and some falling temperatures.

My husband bought a new fourwheeler from State Farm at work so he gave me our other one. So today we went riding together in the woods while the kiddos were at school. That was fun. I enjoy being able to have Fridays with him while the kids are at school because honestly we have never really had alone times. So on Fridays we usually go eat breakfast together, (sometimes lunch), and we always end up at Home Depot or at a hunting store. Sometimes we snuggle in and watch a movie while it is quiet. Today we rode the four wheelers in the drizzing rain. It is pretty amazing to own a whole bunch of woods with creeks and streams, and lots of wildlife. Today we had a Blue Racer ? (I think) snake jump up at us. I love to look at God's creations, being in the woods is SO peaceful.

I am READY for 6:45 pm tomorrow night in my living room. I am SO ready. WOO PIG SOOIE!!!!!! GO Hogs Go!!!

Have a good weekend, ya'll!!

The last year....

At this time last year, I was uprooting my kids from Nashville for the second time. We moved to Greers Ferry to our lake house. (For the second time.) And ya'll, I think back and think "No wonder I am so tired!!"

It all started in late 2005 when Scotty got sent there to work. He left by himself and me being alone with three kids was too much for me. I was working, had two kids in therapy, and it was all too much. We had just bought our first house the year before and we decided we could rent it out. We packed up our stuff and rented the house out and moved outside of Nashville. The kids didn't seem to mind. They were four, three, and two. I loved it there and adjusted quickly. We rented a very nice house and settled in. We had to move out because the house was being sold after a few months so we moved to another rent house. Whew. We lived in that house for several months and we moved back to AR. We decided to live in Greers Ferry at our lake house we just bought. I became miserable there. I missed TN, and my friends there. I missed all the fun stuff to do. So we stayed in GF July 07-Jan 08. Then we rented the lake house out, and headed off to TN AGAIN. (It sounds like we are nutty.) The kids get settled in school and I get a great job and Camden got into a great preschool and everything was in an upswing. (Are ya'll exhausted yet?) So, Scotty decides we really need to go back to Arkansas because of our family there. My family all lives in Benton/Bryant so Greers Ferry didn't seem like the best solution, but Scotty loved it there, although I didn't. So enters Lakehouse #2. Across the street from Lakehouse #1.

This is now September 2008. The kids LOVE their Tennessee school, and we are putting them in school in Greers Ferry, which is a NOT so good school. I am living there to make my husband happy, but I am miserable and either want to go home to Saline County or back to Tenn. We decided that we could move back home. I was really upset with the way the school in Greers Ferry was handling Caden's issues and I had no friends there. We sell Lakehouse #1. We had a house fall in our laps back home, in the school district I wanted, on the golf course and it was a no brainer. The house was gorgeous. We move back home at the beginning of December 2008. It was strange being back home for awhile, but we adjusted. We make some BIG decisions and decide we need to move again. (Still at home.) We begin building our house in late July. (It is almost done, but has been a HUGE headache, thus the reason I have not blogged about it. Pics coming soon.) We will not be moving again. This journey has been memorable, and has had its ups and downs, but has been exhausting. We decide to plan the pregnancy admidst all this...so I became pregnant this summer and lost the baby. This summer has been so rough. I NEVER get sick, and I have been in the hospital twice. I went in one week for a severe uterine infection and came back out to go right back with meningitis. Laiken spent all of last winter being sick. Scotty is working in Nashville. Sometimes I feel like a single mom. I am tired, and exhausted. I am ready to be settled. I am not complaining, I wouldn't take back any part of this journey, but it has been tiring.

I have been blessed with three gorgeous kids and a fabulous husband and we have been blessed tremendously and I am SO thankful. I am ready to SLOW down a little, take things a little slower, if ya know what I mean? The next month or so will be hectic, but I am looking forward to the Holidays. We have been givin the go ahead to start trying again for I am going to say Baby #5. We will never forget baby number four. This baby woke me up and I loved it so much. I don't think I have ever felt so much sheer joy as I did when that pregnancy test came up +. This baby was our Glory Baby and I have two utrasound photos that I have had framed. :-)

This is a pic of me my mom took right after I told my whole family I was pregnant at dinner. I had it all planned out, on my Memaw's Bday, at our fave restaurant. I was so giddy inside and this was the day I told the kids. I felt such joy. I don't know if I can ever eat there again because I am going to associate this with the baby.


Whew. That was a long post. Sometimes writing just helps me sort things out. Happy Wednesday, ya'll!

IUD, fashion, and Eating.

Ok, I got a call from the Dr. today and apparantly my progesterone levels were too low to support a pregnancy. Theory being the IUD I had has synthetic progesterone being put out into your uterus every day and kind of kills natural progesterone. So my body wasn't making enough. I am kinda angry because with Prometrium or progesterone suppositories this may could have been prevented. I wish I had never had that IUD. It made me sick, and I got pelvic infections and had cramps and all kinds of nasty side effects. The progesterone in the IUD prevents IMPLANTATION, not fertiization. So you may get a fertilized egg. I really didn't know this until recently. I just do not like IUD's and urge you all don't do it!!!! :-)

I am not a dress up kind of girl, but I wear lots of dresses. Make sense? Ha. I like comfy dresses. I like leggings. I have them in all colors. So in the winter I wear lots of sweat pants when I am hanging out at home. I have seriously gained some weight this year and it has been hard to fit into stuff that is four sizes too small. Some of my fave accesories/things to wear. My Converse sneakers. I probably would have not been caught dead in these when I was in school, but I heart them now.



Honestly, I spend more money on my hair and makeup and skincare than I do clothes. Those of you who know my know that my hair is super important to me. I cannot stand it to be messed up. I love make up. I totally love black nail polish. Is this going out of style yet?? Because I still love it.

I like dark brown nails for fall too.
If I go to a deptartment store and I see a sign that says loungewear, I am all over it. I HATE I mean DESPISE high heels.

You can get this @ Apricot Boutique in Sherwood if ya live near me.
I Love tunics. If I see a cute one, I usually snatch it up. Because they can go with jeans or leggings or whatever and are so comfy. Like this one I would wear with my Converse sneakers and cute jeans. I like big chunky rings, too. Even when I am not dressed up. My husband thinks I am a lunatic, but I love Tori Spelling's clothes. I do not endorse her or her skinniness...but I love her clothes. And her glasses. Oh, that's another thing. I totally think glasses are so cute. Another reason I am kicking my contacts to the curb. :-)
Are there any styles that you stick with and don't change? Or anything you totally love?

So, Dr. says I can start TTC again now. (I will get progesterone). So I am eating VERY healthy. I am going back on my weighlifting diet I used to do when I was into lifting weights. I started running again yesterday. More like jogging. But whatever. I want to be healthy when I get pregnant again. Gotta run....chicken and spinach..calling my name!!!

One more thing, Camden wrote his name by himself for the first time today. I was so proud I cried. He is behind his classmates a little, and to see him accomplish that melted my heart. Love the little guy.

Have you ever ordered something and then forgot you ordered it until it shows up at your door?

I have had a really busy day. Getting the kids ready for school was exhausting this morning. Caden threw a piece of French Toast at Laiken's head. After I dropped them off, I went to have coffee with my Memaw and her coffee club. These old ladies crack me up. I hope I look and act like them when I am their age. They are so cute. They talk everything from the Bible to doing the deed. (Haha. Cracks me up.) They are awesome and I love they let me join in every once in awhile. I went to JC Penneys to find Laiken a dress, then I went and got a spray tan. (HALLELUJAH!!!) I was begininning to feel pasty. I met back up with my Memaw for a sandwich at Subway and then I went grocery shopping. I heart grocery shopping alone...without hearing "mommy mommy I want this!!"

I just got home so I could sit down and check my E-mails and watch TV and I saw I had a package. I had no idea what it was and when I opened it, I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. I had ordered some rhinestone bloomers with polka dotted bows with LKA on them. I just had this feeling I was going to have a Landry Kate so I had to order these precious bloomers. And then I forgot all about them. I don't know how long I am going to feel so broken hearted. I am really struggling with this.
I am trying to stay happy.

I pray that I will be blessed with another baby. I so badly want another baby.
It's ironic that I planned this pregnancy, and this happened. The others were not planned, but oh so wanted. Just goes to show you that our plans are not always God's plan.

I HATE contacts. They make my eyes itch and burn. I really want some cute glasses. Is is sad that I want Tori Spelling's glasses??
Maybe something like this?? I dunno...anyone have any suggestions?

Wake up laughing

Offbeat Devotions for the Unconventional Woman..
My Memaw bought me this book about two maybe three years ago, and I read it but didn't really read it, if ya know what I mean?

I cracked it open this week. Now, those of you who know me, know I read ALOT. I read alot more trashy romance novels than anything. (Just being honest. :-)
But, I really enjoy doing Bible studies and since I am not able to go to Bible Study at church anymore b/c I don't have anyone to watch my kids at nighttime, I try to read devotionals at home. I laughed when I opened this book up because Laiken apparantly got ahold of this book at some point and her name graces quite a few of the pages.

Anyways, this cracks me up. Doing Bible Study does not have to be such a serious thing that you can't enjoy it. I believe that it can be fun and enjoyable!

This book is all about embracing your situation with gratitude. Learning to laugh at things that may normally make us cry or worry. Learning how to see every circumstance as an opportunity to learn and draw closer to God. Laughter is a gift from God. We should use this gift!!! Proverbs 17:22 says "A cheerful heart is good medicine." This is so true. Laughter helps us in the healing proceess. It can help control pain, lower pressure and relieve stress. This is so true. When I worked at a family practice clinic, I noticed that the happier (older) people were so much healthier. The people that were bitter and angry were not so healthy. It takes a toll on our bodies. Chidren laugh about 400 times a day and adults laugh about 15 times a day. The Bible says unless we become as little children, we cannot see the kingdom of God.

I try to smile alot. I am friendy to strangers who look like they are in a bad mood at Wal-Mart. Ya never know, it may make their day. Sure, I get sad, mad, and angry. They are normal emotions and it's OK to feel them. It's what we do with those emotions that can be a problem. I have spent this whole week being sad. I want to be pregnant again, I feel empty inside, I want to be throwing up, but I am not. I am going to be happy. I am going to choose to to put on my happy face and praise Him. I am going to laugh with my kids, smile at strangers, and help those in need. That makes me happy. :-)

So smile a little, laugh a little and look at the bright side of things!

Hope you guys are all having a great weekend!!!

Friday

I decided Laiken was well enough to go back o school today. She has been out since last Thurs. Poor kid just gets so sick so easily due to her immune system. I think last winter, she missed almost the whole month of February at school. Camden also got the flu, but is now fever free and feeling better. He stayed home today just in case. I pray so hard that noone else in this family gets the flu.

Laiken is the sweetest little girl. She knows that I am sad, and she tries to make me feel better. She offers to rub my feet and brush my hair. I take her up on the hair brushing. Nothing better than having someone play with your hair. :-) I love having a little girl. Right now, she is the only princess and her Daddy and I love her very much.

I am still very sad, but I am feeling some better and I am accepting that this was God's will. My kids are also very confused. We have told them Jesus has our baby and is holding it for us. I figured that was the best explanation I have.

I want to thank all of you who have emailed me and sent me messages through Facebook. I truly appreciate each kind word you have said to me. It means so much. I am so blessed to have an amazing family who loves me and that helps so much.

I do plan on trying again to have a fourth child. I am praying about it, and know that God is in control of that. I got pregnant right after the IUD was removed, and I had several pelvic infections while it was in place and never had a cycle the whole time it was in. My body is confused and needed to heal. I also chose to forgo having a D&C and complete all this in a natural way, which has been painful and emotional. I go back in two weeks to recheck my hormone levels. Once the HCG levels are zero, I am "back to normal." If they don't reach zero, I may have to have a D&C and I would really like to avoid that. Please pray I don't have to.

Camden and I plan on snuggling up today on the couch and watching cartoons. Doesn't get much better than that!

I heart cooking.

I love to cook. I love cooking for lots of people. I especially love cooking in the fall and winter. Cooking helps me keep my mind off of things, it's like therapy for me. So I plan on doing lots of it the next couple of days. Scotty's cousin and his wife are moving down here from West Memphis this weekend so I will be making them some food, too. I just thought I would share some recipes I really like.

Sour Cream Pizza (no brainer, super easy)
You will need individual already prepared pizza crust(I like Foccacia)
Spoon sour cream over crust instead of tomato sauce. I add ground beef, pepper, onions, and cheese to mine. You can do pepporoni or whatever you like. But they are yummy. Bake like you would a normal pizza until cheese is melty.

My Chili
2 lbs ground beef
1 sauteed onion and bell pepper
Chili seasoning (I use williams)
1 can Ro-Tel for chili. It says it on the label
Chili Fixings tomato sauce for Chili. I believe it says chili fixings on the can. I also use the diced tomatoes too.
a tsp of sugar
garlic salt
kidney beans
Chili beans.
Cook the meat and saute the onion and bell pepper. Put in large pot and add all the rest!

Cheese Dip (I am gonna make this in the Crock Pot this weekend)
Velveeta
Rotel
Ground beef cooked with onion
Sour Cream (small containter)
some chopped cilantro
Cumin and chili powder.
Add Velveeta cubed to your crock pot. Cook a lb of ground beef and layer it on top of cheese. Dump remaining ingredients in there and stir well. I add about a tsp of cumin and a tsp of chili powder.

Appe Chicken
5 tbsp. butter
3 med. red cooking apples, halved, cored and sliced
2 lg. onions, thinly sliced
6 boneless, skinned chicken breasts (3 whole)
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 c. grated Swiss cheese
1/2 c. Parmesan cheese
1/4 c. unseasoned dry bread crumbs
1/2 tsp. thyme
2 tbsp. Brandy, Apple Jack or cider(I use Cider)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease baking dish with 1 tablespoon butter. Saute apples and onions in remaining butter until very tender, about 10 minutes. Do not brown. Spread mixture in bottom of baking dish. Rub breasts with salt and pepper. Arrange down middle of apple mixture, overlapping slightly.
Combine cheese, bread crumbs and thyme. Sprinkle over chicken and apple mixture. Drizzle brandy over all. Bake until cheese is golden brown and chicken is tender, 35 minutes or more.

I was wanting to cook something with apples one day and found this recipe online. It's really good.

I know ya'll are tired of my recipes now....


I was so excited to get a Pumpkin Spice latte from Starbucks today!! I actually want another one. :)
I love pumpkin. I bought the new Febreze Pumpkin Spice air freshener yesterday and it smells like pumpkin pie.

I am not very proud of myself right now. I just yelled at a man who called me wanting to collect $40 for the remaining balance of the bloodwork I had a few weeks ago. He was being rude to me and it irked me. I shouldn't have yelled. And it didn't make me feel better.

I am very mad today. I don't want to be mad. I have prayed that God comfort me and carry me when I can't walk. Because today I am very sad.



I want to tell ya'll how much I love my husband. He works in Nashville, TN during the week so I am away from him alot right now. His job doesn't really allow him to take off or have vacations. He stayed with me until last night and he had to go back. I know he didn't want to leave me. I saw the tears in his eyes. He loves us so much. He doesn't really know what to say right now to me, but I know he is hurting for me. And for himself. He called me earlier to tell me we could have ten more babies if I wanted. :) (And no, I don't want.) But if I wanted to have five more, he would. Don't get any crazy ideas, though. I waited along time to get pregnant with this baby. I always wanted four and we had decided to wait until before Camden went to kindergarten and then we would talk. I was SO happy when he agreed to try. Of course he makes me mad and aggravated sometimes but I don't know what I would do without him.

I hope everyone is having a good Wednesday! Oh, Laiken has the flu and poor girl is so sick. She missed school on Thurs and Fri last week and hasn't gone back this week. I kept all my kids home today. I know the others needed to go to school, but I just wanted them home with me. Pray for Laiken to get better!!

I WILL praise Him in this storm.

This is what it means to be held Word of God Speak would you pour down like rain There will be a day Mercy came running I can only imagine I will praise you in this storm Who am I hear me when I'm calling Amazing Grace how sweet thy sound It's a slow fade.....

This is what is going through my mind right now. Music is very powerful to me. I love music. Listening to these powerful words all day has made me feel so much better. I have cried, I have laughed and I have been really angry and mad. I have sobbed, I have weeped. I sat in the Dr's office this morning and watched all the teenage pregnant girls in there and got really mad.(I am just being honest.) I was like "why me?" Scotty had to point out to me that I was being very judgemental and not like me. This is part of God's plan for me, and those girls needed prayer not judgement. I have felt despair and I have smiled. I have been really upset about the physical pain and what I went through at the hospital last night. It was so upsetting to me.

That said, my heart has been very heavy today and I have thought so many times of all you girls who are struggling to conceive and the ones who have lost babies after birth. I don't know what that is like. A friend of mine from church has been TTC for several years and has been unsuccessful and has suffered from painful endometriosis for years, and I know she wants a baby so badly. I pray that she is blessed with a baby. I have thought about her alot today.

I will praise Him in this storm and know that he has a plan for me.

I know that this is so common, and thanks to all of you who sent me E-mails telling me your stories. It helps to read about other people's stories. I believe that if He wants us to have baby #4, it will happen. I am going to give myself time to heal.



Aren't they beautiful? These are my reasons to be happy. They are such blessings.

Brokenhearted.

I may not be back for a couple of days. Can you guys please pray for me?
I just returned home from the hospital and I have lost the baby.
I have felt like something was wrong this whole pregnancy and even though I saw the baby last week and it was growing, I KNEW in my heart it wasn't right. Sometimes I think we have these intuitions. I even called the Dr. this weekend and they reassured me the "contraction like pain" was probably ligament pain or stretching. I felt like I was in labor. (I should know.) The bleeding kept getting worse, and I was supposed to accept that was normal too. I knew this wasn't. By the time I got to the hospital, my cervix was open and the baby was gone. (I already knew.) Please just pray for me, I need some time to heal. I was very excited about this baby (I mean ecstatic) and I was begininning to accept some reassurance from the Dr. about all my insecurities. I feel very numb right now and very exhausted.

bAbY nAmEs

I love baby names!! There are some I would love but never use. So I want to know what made you decide to name your kids what you did and if you have a cool baby name, let me know! I am pretty set on Landry Kate for a girl and Hudson Joel for a boy. But I am open to suggestions...(in case there is more than one..ha.) I really like Evie Claire, too. I think it's pretty. Even if you don't have kids, do you have "the name" picked out? With Laiken, I knew that was going to be her name although her daddy didn't care for it. When I was about three I had a Cabbage Patch doll that was named Laken Blue. I loved the name and knew my first daughter would be Laiken. Scotty thought I was insane, but I know he likes it now. :-) The only name I regret slightly is Camden, and that's because of Caden. It's one letter off and it's kind of confusing. I wish then I would have just named him Hudson. So, tell me what made you choose your kids' names??

SICK

Laiken got sick on Thursday night. She started running a high fever and coughing. The Dr. said it's not swine flu, which is going aroind at her school. She also tested negative for strep. She was MISERABLE all day yesterday. At about 7 or 8 last night, I got fever and began to feel achy. My head is congested and my nose is runny. (Sorry.) I fee AWFUL! My throat is killing me. I am laying on the couch watching TV and playing on the internet. We have been watching Full House reruns. Laiken loves it. Scotty can't take care of us because he is staining our floors and it has to get done by Monday. We are holding up the painting....
Anyway, here is mu ultrasound photo in question. You may have to click on it to make it bigger. Camden sat on top of my printer/scanner so I can't scan anything. I am sure it is just one, but I can't decide what that is on top. The white blob on botton is def a fetal pole. Ya'll have a fabulous Saturday! I am going to order the Razorback Game on PPV because I can't go! I changed my ring tone to the Fight Song so I could pretend like I was at the game.

Taming that tongue!!!

I think I may have mentioned jokingly that I was reading "30 days to Taming your Tongue". But really it has helped me alot. It has helped me think before I speak. I know us women have a hard time shutting our mouths!! It's not always about gossip, either. It's about boasting, belittling, slandering, meddling, and self deprecating. I even bought the workbook too..haha! When you open your mouth and start talking, it says alot about you. One thing I struggle with is being a little cynical...My mom is always telling me I shouldn't be that way. I read this.."Cynics look high and low for wisdom-and never find it; the open-minded find it right on their doorstep."

Well, we went several days last week into this week with the boys being good at school. They were both in trouble today. Camden got in trouble for talking (I should give him some advice from that book!HA!) and Caden won't tell me what he did. But I am going to call his teacher and ask her.

I am having a hard time sitting still because basically all I am doing is reading, watching TV, playing on the internet...but everytime I walk around a whole lot, the bleeding starts, so I am taking it easy.

We are about to leave for church and I look like a hot mess!!! The life of a mother...

Yum Yum Chicken Biscuit.

This morning I had to have a Chick Fil A chicken biscuit. I could taste it before I got it. I tried to forget it has like 500 calories, and 20 grams of fat. I don't know why these things are just so darn good. I love the Christian Chicken!! BUT, the last TWO times I have eaten inside our local Chick Fil A and gotten a Chicken sandwich, there has been a hair in it. I don't do hair. Not even my own hair. If my own hair touched my food I still wouldn't eat it. That's so yucky. Anyways, I am hoping to never find another hair at Chick Fil A!!

I am a very health conscious person. I used to work out hours every day. Over the last year since we moved back to AR, I have gained probably about 40 lbs. ICK!!! Now I am pregnant and hoping to not gain too much weight while pregnant. Before I found out I was pregnant, I was planning a trip to see Dr. Sloan(cosmetic surgeon) and now that's post poned....I feel so yucky. I feel like a blob. And I have a Barbie for a mother.....why oh why couldn't I have gotten those genes?


Anyways, I feel somewhat reassured from my Dr. that I am fine. The baby was growing fine two days ago, and a bleeding episode probably won't change that. It's just really scary. I would gain 100 lbs if it meant I will have a healthy baby. (I HOPE that's not the case!)